Reason, Season or a Lifetime

Deborah Szekely, one of my favourite WCS teachers shared this on FB. I like it a lot.

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People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people (anyway); and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

- author unknown

Katong Convent

So… my secondary school’s going to be torn down and rebuilt and I see tons of posts on the KC FB group reminiscing about the school. Unfortunately, I don’t have much attachment to the school. Sure, my closest friend remains a classmate of mine from Sec 1 but we’ve both been excluded from all class reunions the past couple of years so there’s really not much to hold onto. Hahaha.

I then started thinking, has there been any life changing lesson learnt in KC? Indeed, there’s one. I remember because we were the top class in KC, the teachers and discipline mistress pretty much left us alone to our own devices. Even if we came down late for assembly, etc, no punishment was ever meted out to us. A Normal stream class could have come down just before us and they would be scolded and even punished. So what’s the lesson here?

Well, when you’re at the top of the game, management will leave you alone. Definitely rings true in the corporate world! Meet your budgets and nobody will come bother you.

The KC education has served me well! :p

冤家路窄

Friends and colleagues have been asking me how was my London/ Paris trip and how was it like to meet up with my London colleagues. I have so far always hesitated before saying, “not bad” and that’s cos I haven’t been able to verbalise the mixed feelings I had within me.

Meeting up with the original team was great. The colleagues were kind and made sure I was well taken care of. Unfortunately, I also crossed paths with a few people who made my life miserable in my previous company. Although we barely acknowledged one another, knowing that I’m going to have to deal with them, again, brings much grief.

Sigh. As the saying goes, 兵来将挡,水来土掩。

The Tinder Experiment

Been hearing a good friend, a colleague and 2 underwriters talk about Tinder so I decided see for myself, what’s the deal about it.

After 24h on Tinder, I can confirm that:
1. There are more men than women (I ran out of women to look at!)
2. Women have better profile pics.
3. People active in sports look considerably younger than others the same age.
4. Many men are balding.

What surprised me too is that I came across 2 friends from church whom I didn’t expect to see. *Shrugs*. Maybe they’re experimenting too.

End of experiment for me. I’ve disable the account.

Running Dance Notes

21 Sep 2014
Must be careful of arms – drop the ballroom frame!

16 Sep 2014
1. Remember the stretch on the anchor.

2. Remember to end turns under-rotated.

31 Aug 2014
Need to clean up basics. Triple steps need to be more purposeful.

Engage core by lengthening ribcage.

Rotate more to cut distance and post earlier.

26 Aug 2014
So it occurred to me that since improving in a partner dance basically comprises of making a series of adjustments, I should keep a “running dance notes” to track the little lessons and take-aways I glean with every practice session and social I go for.

So… During practice last night, TM pointed out to me that I need to “lock” my lower back so that my legs don’t lag when the guy leads an accelerated move.

During social tonight, I was quite happy when someone I usually find it difficult to connect consistently with told me that he likes the stretch in my dancing.

Good ol’ Zee also told me that I should take my time for counts 1 & 2 but be quicker on my triples when moving past the lead as it will help me re-establish connection better.

I also need to pay attention to when the lead wants gives me a short anchor vs a long one instead of always moving to the ideal anchor I have in my head.

Sweet Dreams are made of these

image

image

Pinky dozed off after being patted on his head & started leaning over to his side. He then entered this deep sleep and I could see his eyeballs moving rapidly beneath his eyelids! Looked like he entered REM stage of sleep! Wonder what was he dreaming of…

Opportunity Cost

The older i get, the more the term “opportunity cost” hits home. I’m acutely aware that for every choice i make, i lose something at the same time. For e.g., everytime i choose to go dancing instead of visiting Pinky, i lose a couple of hours i could be with him, and i’m fully aware that being a very old bunny, he may pass on anytime. And so every decision i make is shaped by the consideration of what can i less afford to lose.

The same extends to my interactions with people. I’ve come to conclude that rather than being friends with a large number of people, i’ll rather be good friends with a few. I place much higher value on how meaningful a friendship is than how many people i can profess to be “friends” with. This has resulted in me cleaning up and “unfriending” people regularly on Facebook because i do not want their updates to crowd out the updates of those i cherish more on my timeline. I also think these people do not need to know about what’s going on in my life.

I think i may offend some people this way but my capacity to care is limited.

道不同不相为谋.

Bet

Made a bet with Champion last night. The wager is 1 Kronenbourg Blanc. Champion thinks I will make it to squad 3 months after squad restarts. I think it’ll be longer. Lol. We’ll see!

Perpetual Peeves

People who don’t do things wholeheartedly irritate me. To me, if I choose to do something, I’ll go all out to do it. If I’m not convicted to do something, I won’t proceed at all. And this applies to everything – not just at work but also on Sundays when I’m on duty for service. Then I thought to myself… maybe I’m being too task oriented and there are people who are passive / not proactive by nature hence they always appear to be neither in nor out.

Then there’s the issue of what to wear to church. Are shorts acceptable? My struggle is, since God is with and sees us all the time, if wearing shorts is acceptable outside church, then why not in church? That said, I still think it’s too casual. On one hand, one could say if one would dress to a certain level of formality for work, then one should do the same going to church. However, God looks at the heart so is this a man imposed norm formed out of vanity? I’m undecided.

Dance

My colleagues sometimes ask why do I always go for dance lessons. Last week my boss specifically asked why is there a need to dance every week if I’m not preparing for any competitions?

I couldn’t verbalise it on the spot but having considered the question, I think my answer would be that dancing is a learned reaction. Because different guys will lead differently, because songs have different breaks and feel, because different partnerships will result in different patterns and moves, the only way to widen one’s dance horizon / dance arsenal is to dance more.

In addition, we all have different bad habits to change and the only way to break a bad habit is to reinforce the correct or good habit. And reinforcement means lots and lots of repetition. As
I’ve always said, practice makes permanent. Hence, one needs to repeat classes to pick up the correct technique. And in order to internalise what was learnt, repetition is needed.

Coming back from the US, I was curious what has changed in my dancing and I found out today that the main difference was that my upper and lower body was well engaged. Sadly, it seems that I’m starting to revert to my pre-US level and I’ve been “leaving my legs behind”, especially when I’m tired.

I think I need to learn how to self-diagnose my various dancing problems on a daily basis. For starters, this is a note to self not to leave my legs behind when I’m tired.

On a brighter note, I’m starting to get the hand of doing skaters! Yippee! Very grateful to EW for teaching me and to Kono for practising with me for 15-20 min last night! Managed to do 6 turns within a dance tonight and it was great!




November 2014
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