When i was young, i had many expectations of things that were to come. I had my own criteria for a “dream guy”, just as i had my own definition of a “dream job”.
My dream guy was defined as such – he has to be a Christian, be of good Character (honest, with integrity, etc), we must be able to Communicate well, have compatible interest/hobbies, tall (175Cm at least), and is a Cantonese.
Ironically, the 5 bfs that i’ve met… well, not all were active believers, none were taller than 1.73m, and all were not Cantonese! I’ve learnt various lessons from the various r/ships too – how sometimes u can be the “3rd party”, even if u were in the r/ship first… and how there’s no “better” person in a r/ship. It’s just a matter of who’s more suitable. I also learnt that what makes good bf material, is not the same as good husband material.
In going into a r/ship with someone, i think i’ve been very short-sighted. I only considered how we would interact in a bgr kind of way… but i never looked at it from a longterm perspective. And the thing about longterm r/ships… it’s often not just about the other person. A marriage often involves the joining of 2 families. Perhaps that’s how the saying 木门佩木门， 竹门佩竹们 came about. (I’m not sure if i got the Chinese characters right but it means a wooden door matches a wooden door, a bamboo door matches a bamboo door).
Issues like education & family background, though it may seem superficial & even materialistic to take into account, can make a greater impact on a r/ship than what people think. I guess we are all partially a product of our environment… and the environment we’re exposed to the most is our family environment… so it shouldn’t be surprising that family background can be a make or break factor in a r/ship.
Same thing goes for education background. I’m not saying that if a guy is less educated, it means he’s not good enough. But some very smart people may end up taking a different education path ‘cos their attitude in life is different… and so while education itself may not be the differentiating factor, it is certainly indicative of a person’s personal belief & attitude.
I’ve griped about my new job quite a bit but actually, i’m very satisfied with it. The reason why i whine so much about it is ‘cos i like it so much that i’m worried i’ll lose it. I guess this may be the “perfect” job for me and it was certainly worth the wait for it! But it’s never easy to hold out for something that’s most suitable isn’t it? It’s not easy (at least for me) to hold out for God’s will to materialise in my life and unfortunately, i handle r/ships the same way.
I create many “safety nets” for myself such that i may have already missed the person God has planned for me … but then again, if there’s someone that God planned for me, then how can i miss him right? I’m prob. just lengthening both our wait. Haha. Now that’s a comforting thought!
Whatever the case, i’ve been doing a lot of thinking, soul searching and heart searching lately…now, it’s whether i have enough courage to do what i think is right.
Well, this post is going to be posted in invisible… by the time u read this, it means i have mustered enough courage. Thank God.