My Greatest Fear

As everyone makes resolutions about things they want to accomplish in the new year, or bad habits they want to get rid off, i didn’t think i had any resolutions to make.  The past few weeks saw me feeling pretty pleased with myself… pleased because i have many friends that i can hang out with, and smug that i sometimes get more dates than i can juggle.

But today, on the very last day of 2006, my greatest fear is back to bug me – my fear that i’m unwelcomed.  I’m not sure how this fear arose… was it ‘cos i have many close friends, but i know them on a one on one basis and hence i don’t belong to any cliques?  Or was it ‘cos i’ve always felt intimidated by a whole group of people who already know one another, that i cannot fit into any clique comfortably?  It’s a chicken and egg thing really…

While in church this morning, a friend of mine sms’d me saying that he’s meeting some people from our hall for brunch at Siglap and asked if i wanted to join them.  I replied, “Sure!”, without thinking.  Right after the sms went out, i started worrying… although i’ve been close to various individuals in the group at various times while in school, the only one that i talk to nowadays is the guy who sms’d me.  What if i turned up and things turned awkward?  What if they didn’t welcome me?  Sigh… i don’t know if they didn’t welcome me or not lah… but… brunch turned out ok.  No awkward pauses in conversation or anything like that!  *Phew!*

Now, as i’m typing this, i’m fretting over a NYE’s party tonight.  Someone (let’s  call him Flayer) that i met for the first time at Bala Clava on Friday night (though we have corresponded online before) invited my colleague (yes, the “peckish” one) and me to his house party for the countdown.  I’m agonising ‘cos i’m worried things would be weird.. i mean… i’ll probably know like 3 people there only??  And… the worst case scenario would be… what if Flayer only meant to invite my colleague and not me?  Argh!!!

Ok.. from what i remember, Flayer asked both of us to join the party… then he and his friend went off on a tangent ‘cos they said they wanted to intro this other gal to my colleague… and while they were teasing him about it, i left to go to the ladies.  When i got back, Flayer and my colleague had exchanged hp nos. and arrangements were made already.  I’m assuming those arrangements include me?  I think?  I hope?  Sigh.  *Shakes head*.  I’m getting stress diarrhoea from this man.  Bleah!

Just spoke to Shibby online about this… he says i should just go and if i don’t enjoy myself, leave.  I guess that’s the most “common sense” thing to do… and i do have another invitation to another house party… so i guess there’s more than 1 gate that i could crash tonight…

"Act Blur Grow Stronger"

2 nights ago, a colleague and i shared a cab home after a night out at bala clava.  As my colleague alighted from the cab, i was giving the cab driver directions to get to my place when my colleague planted a peck on my cheek.  The peck didn’t register at all ‘cos i was focused on giving directions – i didn’t even turn to look at my colleague or give any response whatsoever.  I guess it didn’t occur to me anything was amiss ‘cos i’m so used to all these “muakz muakz” stuff that salsa people do.  It wasn’t until i reached home that i realised that my colleague had planted a peck on my cheek… and that was sooo wrong, ‘cos i just soooo am not interested in him.

Well, i suppose it’s good that i didn’t have any reaction at all… so nothing awkward’s going to happen.  Sigh.. thank goodness i managed to deflect our single date to a night out with random friends at bala clava.  As the Singlish phrase goes… act blur, grow stronger.

Legs Went on Strike

My legs have gone on strike.  They’re not listening to my brain anymore.  Wanted to go Thumper tonight but my legs decided that they quit working so i had to roll myself home.  Inner thighs, outer thighs, calves, and right foot.  There’s an insurrection going on man.

Sigh.  Azure bugged me about my first and last attempt at the gym in all the 27 years of my life.  Well, i think 1 night out at salsa beats any gym workout hands down, legs down, body down.  Just counted.  I danced 18.5 dances last night.  1 dance is about 5mins.  Which means i danced for a total of about 92.5min.  The half dance was ‘cos my right calf threatened to cramp and so i had to stop halfway.  And trust me… salsa… is not a slow dance!

I think i’ve maxed out my exercise quota for Q1 2007.  Bleah!  Now please excuse me while i roll myself to the toilet…

Salsaphoria

This is darn silly… it’s 1:45am now… I just got back from salsa… and i’m sitting at my pc typing this entry ‘cos my foot just cramped and i can’t move.  Haha.  But i’m still feeling damn high… heh… high from salsa… can’t believe it.  Now i understand why some people say that exercise is addictive… ‘cos it gives u a certain high.  No, exercise will never make me feel high… but dancing always has and always will!  Woooohoo!

I danced more tonight than i did the entire 2006.  I had a smashing time.  Really have to thank my dearest JC classmate for asking me to go down today.  I was expecting a chill out kind of night… Tuesdays are beginners’ night after all… and my first few dances were cool.  Danced with my classmate and his friend… they claimed to be beginners but were really intermediate level.  Nice clear leads, interesting patterns, not too intensive.  Loved it!

Then i saw my dance principal at the entrance of the club.  So i went over to wish him Merry Christmas out of respect… and guess what?  I found almost the entire old gang there!  Cl, Je, Ja, Ga, Ke, Su, Je, Li, Ed (sorry, ran out of nicks so i’m using the first 2 letters of their names)… the list goes on man. 

It was quite funny… i’ve been out of the scene for so long that a lot of newcomers thought i was a newbie at first.  Haha.  I was highly amused whenever a guy asked before a dance, “Are u a beginner?”.  Hehe.  Most of the time, i just smiled & didn’t answer the question.  Haha.  Truth is, i first learnt salsa 4 years ago.  Haha.  Which makes me kind of historic… my JC classmate said, “retro”.  *Rolls eyes*.

Realised something else tonight.  My past month of clubbing has been beneficial for my salsa too.  It managed to rid me of being overly technical, and enabled me to just dance to the music and have fun.  So i thoroughly enjoyed myself.  Felt as though i never left!

Okie dokie… cramp’s fading off… time to go shower.  Woohoo!

Caffeine Incense

I noticed a strange phenomenon since starting work. I’m not usually a coffee drinker but there are some mornings when i am so extremely sleepy that i decide that i really need a caffeine perk-me-up. So i go to the pantry, make myself a nice cuppa Nescafe (formula is 2 teasp of nescafe, 3 teasp of sugar, 3 teasp of creamer), and then i leave the cup of coffee on my desk to cool a little. But everytime i leave it to cool, i’ll immediately feel awake! It’s as though just seeing the cup on my desk is sufficient to wake me up. I told ikura about it and he said, “Caffeine incense”… yeah…

Anyway, ikura suggests that i sell this “caffeine incense” idea to bodyshop or something… as part of their aromatherpy perk-me-up scent…fantastic idea eh? But just in case anyone steals my idea… remember… u heard it here first!

it’s not easy to be me

hello once again my friends,

so how did u spend your Christmas?  i spent a good deal of time supervising my maid as she cleaned my mom’s and my cage.  she was supposed to clean my dad’s cage too.. but that slacker didn’t.  after that, it kept raining and so my dad’s cage only got cleaned today.

i wanted to sack my maid u know!  such laziness!  how can she not clean all our cages in time for Christmas?  but my daddy was kind… he told me to forgive her as it’s Christmas.  tsk tsk.  service standards nowadays.. *shakes head*.

here’re some shots of me inspecting my maid’s shoddy work.

 

 

“Stupid maid didn’t tie the trash bag properly.”

 

 

 

 

 

Sigh.  *Shakes head* 

 

 

 

 

 

“Look at the dust!  Tsk tsk!”

 

 

 

 

 

“Look at the mess on the window sill!  Terrible maid of mine!”

 

 

 

while cleaning up my house, my maid kept playing this song over and over on her hp.  i think the song really suits me?  i mean… i’m no super bunny… but still.. with the tough life i have, it’s not easy to be me… hope u enjoy the song..

 

 

okie… time to sleep now.  Merry Christmas everyone!

 

lotsa love,

Pinky

it’s not easy to be me

hello once again my friends,

so how did u spend your Christmas?  i spent a good deal of time supervising my maid as she cleaned my mom’s and my cage.  she was supposed to clean my dad’s cage too.. but that slacker didn’t.  after that, it kept raining and so my dad’s cage only got cleaned today.

i wanted to sack my maid u know!  such laziness!  how can she not clean all our cages in time for Christmas?  but my daddy was kind… he told me to forgive her as it’s Christmas.  tsk tsk.  service standards nowadays.. *shakes head*.

here’re some shots of me inspecting my maid’s shoddy work.

 

 

“Stupid maid didn’t tie the trash bag properly.”

 

 

 

 

 

Sigh.  *Shakes head* 

 

 

 

 

 

“Look at the dust!  Tsk tsk!”

 

 

 

 

 

“Look at the mess on the window sill!  Terrible maid of mine!”

 

 

 

while cleaning up my house, my maid kept playing this song over and over on her hp.  i think the song really suits me?  i mean… i’m no super bunny… but still.. with the tough life i have, it’s not easy to be me… hope u enjoy the song..

 

 

okie… time to sleep now.  Merry Christmas everyone!

 

lotsa love,

Pinky

Merry Christmas!

Hi Everyone! 

If u’re reading this, stop!  U shouldn’t be reading blogs on Christmas!  U should be giving thanks to God for this day, spending time with your loved ones, wrapping presents, partying… whatever!  Just not reading blogs.

Here’s wishing everyone a blessed Christmas! 

 

With lotsa love,

Pinky, Muah Chee, Horlicks, Peanut, Coffee & me!

No Complaints

Was at St James Power Station just now… bumped into an old JC schoolmate at Dragonfly, and then another one at Bellini room.  I haven’t seen the 2nd guy (let’s call him “03”) in the past 9 years – since leaving JC! 

03 used to be a middle distance runner in school.  We were from the same orientation group and boy was he good looking!  Sharp nose, high cheekbones, good complexion, tanned, nice floppy hair… i remember “bio-ing” him (checking him out) all the time. 

But when i saw him at the Bellini Room just now… i took 3… no… 4 takes before i recognised who he was.  He was seated near my kor (brother) and his friend… and i was talking to my kor when i saw this guy looking at me… so i turned to look at him… turned back to my kor, turned to look at him again, turned back to my kor… and i don’t know how many times i repeated that sequence before i suddenly realised i knew the guy.  Haha.  It was funny. 

03 asked how long has it been since we last saw each other… and i replied that the last time we met was in JC!  03 said that the only time we communicated over the past 9 years was on friendster.  Very true… but!!  03 looked so different in his friendster pics!  Haha… he looked good & THIN in his friendster pics… but seeing him in person… gosh!  He must have put on at least 10kg in the past 9 years!

My kor said that 03 kept checking me out the rest of the night (he changed seats to the one just on the left of my kor, facing us).  Well, what can i say?  I know i’ve been griping about losing the baby fat around my face ‘cos the baby fat made me look younger… but i guess, i have no complaints about how i look now.  Haha.  The years have been kind… very kind indeed.  Muahaha.  *Hysterical evil laughter*

Would You Lie with Me and Just Forget the World?

The heavy rains started on Sunday… and went on non-stop from Mon to the wee hours of Tue morning. (Yep, was drenched on my way home from Ice Cold Beer!) The heavy rainfall is apparently one of the highest recorded in Singapore in the past 75 years!

This morning, the air was extra fresh… and the wind, refreshing. I don’t remember the last time we had such a glorious morning in Singapore. Really woke me up though i slept for only 3+ hrs last night.

Sigh.. my liver, pancreas & bile ducts need some cleansing too. Already experienced some not so good symptoms and i didn’t even drink much last night. Just 2 vodka limes? Guess it’s just the overload from 6 nights of drinking. Well, no alcohol for me tonight! Though i don’t know how i’m going to escape at the D&D tomorrow. My company has a strong tradition of initiating the newbies at work. Sigh.

Lovely morning. Cleared my mind on certain things i was pondering on…

Heard this great song last night… enjoy – Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol.

Okie… time to start cracking! Good morning, Singapore!