Azure and i were taking the MRT home 1 day when she suggested that i should start a category on my blog called "Kid’s Meal" and list down all the stupid things that Kid’s Meal says on a daily basis. But before i got down to it, there’s now a challenger for the Stupidest Person in Eon Award!
This amazing challenger is from Booze Queen’s dept. We call him Smarties ‘cos of his "brilliance" at work. Anyway, here’re the various incidents that resulted in us nominating Kid’s Meal and Smarties to be the top 2 contenders for the prestigious, abovementioned award.
Kid’s Meal’s Top Nominations:
At the Bali Conference last month, we were made to sit with various colleagues from around the region. On the first day of the conference, we were given 3 minutes to talk to the person next to us, after which we were supposed to introduce that person to everyone else.
Kid’s Meal (KM for short) was paired with a colleague from Malaysia. A Senior VP if i don’t remember his designation wrongly. During her introduction, she said…
KM: FC is from our M’sian office. I was very surprised just now when FC told me that he’s English educated.
(Stunned silence around room)
KM: ‘Cos i thought all Chinese in Malaysia are Chinese educated. Hur hur hur.
(Another round of stunned silence as i buried my head in embarrassment that Kid’s Meal is from my dept). Sigh.
During one of the dinners at the Bali conference, this conversation took place.
KM to Indian colleague: Which part of India are u from?
Indian colleague: I’m from Mumbai.
KM: I see. Is Bombay also in India?
(When i heard this, i couldn’t control myself anymore. I turned to KM & said…)
Me: Er, Mumbai IS Bombay? It’s the new name…
KM: OH IS IT? I didn’t know that!
Me: Er, did u know that Ho Chi Minh is the new name of Saigon?
KM: Really???? Hurhurhur. I didn’t know that.
Me: Technically speaking, HCM covers a slightly larger area than Saigon but it’s essentially the same place… Then did u know that Sri Lanka is the new name for Ceylon?
KM: I didn’t know that either!!!!!
Gee… i wonder why when that Indian colleague called my office to ask for my mobile no. (in case he needed to contact us for urgent matters) as well as Bigmac & Beanstalk’s… he didn’t ask for Kid’s Meal…
This one takes the cake. Real shocker to me. At lunch during the Bali conference…
KM: Why aren’t u eating today?
Me: Got diarrhoea lah. No appetite.
KM: Diarrhoea? Is it ‘cos of the food last night?
Me: No lah. The food’s ok. Nothing to do with it. Got my period lah. Always kena diarrhoea when i get my period.
KM: Oh… i see. I’m not used to getting my period too.
(I was shocked. U’re freaking 22 years old and u’re not used to getting your period?!?)
Me: Huh? What do u mean by that statement?
KM: Ya… not used to the fact that i get my period lor. I get my period regularly but i envy my friends whose period are seasonal lor. But i know that’s not good lah. Not good for giving birth right?
(At this point, i was stunned into silence.)
We were having a "Specialty Group" lunch one day and so there were like 12 of us at this restaurant. Due to the large no. of orders, it got quite confusing who ordered what whenever a dish arrived.
Waitress: Dry egg noodles with chicken? Dry egg noodles with chicken? Who ordered the dry egg noodles with chicken?
KM: Is it dry one?
(Bubbs had such a stunned expression on her face i burst out laughing.)
Smarties’ Top Nominations:
Smarties was hired to help Booze Queen and her boss in their work. So BQ’s been teaching him how to do the admin stuff, etc.
BQ: When we calculate interest, we go according to the exact number of days. So for next year, u’ll have to divide over 366 days.
Smarties: Why 366 days? Are there 366 days in a year?
BQ: Er, no. There’re 365 days in a year but next year is leap year so there’s 366?
Smarties: Leap year?
BQ: Ya… every 4 years there’s an extra day in the year? 29th Feb???
(When Booze Queen told us the incident during lunch, we came up with this theory. Maybe we should tell Smarties that the Leap Year came about ‘cos of the Olympics… it was specially created for it…)
I was on leave today… but BQ’s sms cracked me up…
Her sms said:
"Smarties asked me… U know how many days are there in a month ah? I replied yes. He gave me a shocked look."
I always thought Kid’s Meal was stupidity redefined. A pedigree ignoramus. But Smarties seems to taking over her position!!