Note to Self

Note to self #1:

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When wearing hot pants, do not hook fingers through belt loops as underwear will be exposed.  Wait a min… note to self sub point 1 – do not wear hot pants when you have flabby legs.

Note to self #2:

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When working as cabbie, preparation is better than cure.

Note to self #3:

sylar vs MC

Never offend your owner’s boyfriend… you will get “sylar-ed”.

Road Hazard Update

My department had our CNY dinner today and the conversation shifted to Kid Meal’s driving test tomorrow.  Bouncy told Kid’s Meal to make sure that she "adjusts" all the mirrors when she gets into the car with the tester.

Kid’s Meal said, "Why must u do that?  All the mirrors will be adjusted already what ‘cos I’ll be having my driving lesson before the test."

Bouncy explained that it’s just a step that testers expect u to perform as part of the checks u’re supposed to do before u start driving (in other words, must wayang a bit).

Bigmac then added that besides checking all your mirrors, u also need to make it very obvious when u are checking your blind spots during the test… to which Kid’s Meal replied, "Oh but I don’t check my blind spots".

Appalled, I interjected, "Eh, checking blind spots is not just to pass the test leh.  It’s a safety thing that u check your blind spots before u change lanes!".

Kid’s Meal looked at me and repeated herself, "I know.  But I don’t check blind spots."

So I repeated myself, "Yah.  But u should always check your blind spots!  What if there’s a motorcycle there or something??"

Like a broken recorder, Kid’s Meal said again, "Yah. But I don’t check blind spots."

*Rolls eyes*.  I repeated myself again but Kid’s Meal said yet again, "I just don’t check blind spots."

Bigmac then chipped in, "Wow. If u pass your driving, let me know.  I’ll stop riding my bike."

Stupid is as Stupid Does

Conversation overheard between Bigmac (BM) and Kid’s Meal (KM).

BM: KM, why are u writing the minutes all in first person?  U know, as in, why do you write, "ABC says: ‘I will do this’", and "DEF says: ‘I will check on this…’", etc.  Shouldn’t the minutes be in third person?

KM: Oh… I did that because it is easier to write.

BM: What do you mean easier to write?  You just need to take down the important points right?

KM: Yah… but the meeting was in dialogue, so easier to write this way.

DUH!??!?  If a meeting isn’t in "dialogue", then what would it be in?  Sign language??

 

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If u thought that was bad… wait till u hear what Smarties did…

After completing the renewal of 1 policy, Smarties’ boss told him that the Insured will send the documentation, etc, to their bank themselves, and there was no need to send the original policy document to the bank.

However, Smarties still sends a soft copy of the policy doc to the bank!  Exasperated, Smarties’ boss questioned, "Didn’t I tell u not to send the originals to the bank??".

Smarties replied, "Yah.  U said don’t send the original mah.  So I sent via email lor".

At this, Smarties’ boss said, "Smarties!  I want to strangle u!!!".

And Smarties (in my opinion, rather rude) reply was, "Oh shit!  Oh shit!  Oh shit!".

I mean… is that something u would say to your boss after u make a stupid booboo?

My Moral Duty

I believe it is my moral duty to tell everyone to STAY AWAY from UBI (Eunos) area this Friday, 22 Feb 2008. My belief is based on a conversation that happened earlier today…

Bigmac: So are u confident of passing your driving on Fri?
Kid’s Meal: Er, no… i’m going to have a practice session 1 hour before my test.
BM: How long have u been learning driving?
KM: Er… about 5 months now.
Me: So what car are you driving for the test?
KM: I’m not sure actually
Me: Huh? Aren’t u using your instructor’s car?
KM: Yah… but i never see what car my instructor is using…

*Faints*.

Take note ya… this is the same girl who told me she had to go home to study NOTES for her driving practical lesson because she wasn’t sure which leg to use for which pedal…

Looking Forward

Cirrus (aka Clown) wished me Happy Chinese New Year twice over MSN.  The first time, i ignored it because somehow, his seemingly harmless greetings tend to come with a secret agenda.  Can’t blame me for my paranoia after the extremely ugly break up we had.  I’ve never had an ex-bf harass me before… waiting outside my house, insisting that i talk to him face to face, leaving 16 missed calls on my hp each time, pretending to want to commit suicide, etc. 

Over the 1 year plus since we split up, he has also regularly told me about his pain over MSN though he "doesn’t expect me to patch up with him".  All these chats would start off with an "innocent" "how’s work?" kind of greeting.. and slowly sink into a "oh i am so miserable" hell hole.  So u really can’t blame me for being paranoid.  Not when just about 3 months ago, he told me that he had a dream of us and after he woke up, he realised that he doesn’t truly love his current gf, yada yada yada.

So when the second Happy CNY greeting came from Cirrus 2 days back, i was extremely reluctantly to acknowledge it.  I eventually did, gave a monosyllabic reply to his "how’s life" (hey life’s good man!  What else can i say right?) and then let the conversation die a silent death.

The reason why i’ve decided to write this post tonight is ‘cos a new (lunar) year has come round… and i think people need to learn to look and move forward.  Like i said before… that’s the reason why our eyes are placed in front of us right?  Humans, are meant to be forward looking.

That’s brings me to the latest incident in the deterioration of the friendship between Airbus and me.  I asked a couple of my non-Singaporean friends if they were going back to their homes for Chinese New Year.  Airbus was one of those i asked… and his reply was, "Who’s this?".  I was puzzled and did a quick check… and realised that Airbus has deleted me from his MSN contact list.  Maybe it’s an MSN bug, maybe it was accidental, or maybe that’s his way of being forward looking.

Oh well, i’m definitely looking forward to the year of the Rat.  Not going to let anything else drag me down.  :)  If there was 1 important lesson i learnt in the year of the Pig, that’s God always gives us wonderful gifts… but the decision to accept the gift lies with us.

1st Stupidity Challenge in the Year of the Rat

Happy Chinese New Year everyone!!

First day back to office, and i was duly entertained by Smarties and Kid’s Meal. 

Smarties was talking to another colleague of ours, Meatlover, about the volunteer work Meatlover does…

Smarties: Wow.  Then do you get paid for giving tuition?

Meatlover: Of course not lah!  It’s volunteer work.  Where got get paid one?

Smarties: Oh.  Volunteer for who?

Meatlover: CDAC

Smarties: C.. C what?  CDAC?  What’s that?

Xiao Lao Shu (obviously couldn’t take it any longer) turns around and says: The one that your pay always gets deducted $1 for lah!

P.S. For foreigners who’re not sure what CDAC stands for, it’s the Chinese Development Assistance Council (www.cdac.org.sg).

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Bigmac was relatively free today and so he was going through some mass emails that Kid’s Meal (KM) copied him in.

Bigmac to KM: So which underwriter do you think the client will go for?  Is it going to be Uleer?

KM: I’m not sure.  Upsize didn’t say.  But i think all got chance.

Bigmac: All?  Surely after the presentation to the client, one insurer would’ve stood out?  Does even Cofrance have a chance?

KM: I think so.

Bigmac: Why?

KM: I don’t know.  I think so.  But i think maybe the client will go for @traders.

(Yes, please ignore her contradiction).

Bigmac: @traders?  Why?

KM: ‘Cos Upsize said the client was very impressed by their presentation that day.

Bigmac: Oh.  What about their presentation?

KM: I think they used powerpoint, then got a lot of animation kind.  So the client was very impressed.

DUH??????????????????  Since when does an MNC pick which insurer to used based on animated powerpoint slides!!!!  Sheesh!  The naivete! 

Chinese New Year Hide & Seek

Iceman came to my place yesterday and Muah Chee and Patience went to the living room to wish him a Happy Chinese New Year.  As i was going to Iceman’s place for dinner, i left them in the living room as they were having a pretty good time, having been cooped up in my bedroom most of the year.

This afternoon, when i was going out, i saw that Muah Chee moved from the sofa to the organ chair.  Guess he was having a ball of a time playing musical chairs.  So i left him to his own devices.  After i came back, i decided they had played enough and wanted to take them back to my room.  But Patience was no where to be found!

I asked the big teddy in the living room if he saw Patience but he didn’t.  I asked Muah Chee if he knew where Patience was and he told me in a half-panicky voice that she disappeared this morning!

I combed my living room 3x before i found her.

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Guess where she was?  Perched on top of the TV, and half camouflaged with this ornament.  Heh.  Guess who suggested this hiding place to her?