CNY Drama

My mom told me this morning that my dad had a huge stand off with my 4th aunt (his sis).  This 4th aunt fell out and decided to cut all ties with the family following disagreements over my grandmother’s funeral arrangement and the subsequent execution of her "will" (which everyone suspects was doctored by my 2nd aunt but we never had proof). 

The bungalow that my grandmother left behind was eventually sold and the proceeds were shared equally among all the siblings so I have no idea what this aunt is sore about, especially when she is flooded with cash (inherited from her late husband’s estate) and is definitely not in need of money.

Anyway, my parents visited my 2nd aunt’s home on CNY day 2 and were invited to stay for dinner.  Shortly after dinner, my 4th aunt arrived with her kids.  My dad was in the toilet/kitchen and only my mom was in the living room so my mom went to the door to wish her happy CNY and to shake her hand (out of respect as my 4th aunt is older than my dad).  My 4th aunt wished my mom a happy CNY too albeit a little coldly.

My 2nd aunt and my dad then came to the living room and my dad walked forward to wish her a happy CNY… but my aunt cut him off saying, "We don’t know each other hor?".

My dad was mad.  He replied curtly, "Yah.  We don’t know each other."

My parents then took their stuff and left immediately.  My 2nd aunt saw them to the gate and was very apologetic about the whole incident.  She asked my dad to forgive their 4th sister. 

When my dad got home, he called his 4th brother (FYI – my dad’s the "7th brother") to complain and my 4th uncle reminded him that it was my 2nd aunt who stirred all the trouble when my grandmother passed away.  My parents however, felt that since my grandmother died so many years ago (in Feb 2002 I think), and given that my 2nd aunt has in recent years tried to mend ties with all her siblings, why hold grudges against her?  After all, we’re still family… and in the same light, it makes the actions of my 4th aunt all the more unacceptable.

Drama right?  Heh.  That’s what you get when you come from a really really huge family… TVB epic drama material.

Live and (Re)Loaded

These were some pointers/lessons that were touched upon and/or shared (by other participants) during the marriage preparation course but it is only recently that I have come to realise how they may affect me.

1. The couple should ideally set up a home of their own (if finances permit)

Not that there’s anything wrong with our parents’ homes/house rules but I think having a home of your own will help strengthen a couple’s relationship as they start to form their own value system for the family and institute their own house rules.

2. The wife/husband should talk to their respective parents

Having loved and tolerated our idiosyncrasies since we were kids, our parents are definitely more accommodating and receptive when we raise issues with them – versus having our spouse do the talking.

3. The husband must stand up for his wife

Although it is a horrible position to be caught between mother and wife, a husband must be fair and willing to speak up for his wife if the need arises.

4. The wife must not bring her grievances back to her parents’ home

I’m not saying that the wife should suffer in silence but it really would not help matters as the wife’s family will definitely take her side.  Why cause more misunderstanding/division?

5. The husband should be tolerant of the wife’s mood swings

(This is a personal observation).  Women, being more affected by their hormones, tend to have quicker mood swings (aka PMS or worse – menopause).  Husbands should not take this personally.

6. There is a time for everything

As wise man Solomon noted, there is a time for everything.  The wife should not be anxious to force the issue if the husband is not ready to talk about it.

7. God is in control

The most important lesson (in my opinion) – we cannot add an hour to our lives by worrying.  I have recently started to feel the stress of getting married – will I find an evening gown that I like, will the gowns be ready in time, will the photoshoot turn out ok, will the photos get developed in time, will we be able to meet the minimum 30 tables required by Hyatt, will the logistics of travelling from Singapore to JB be ok, will the immigration and customs be jammed, will we bust our finances… the list goes on.

A verse (2 verses actually) that has popped up in my head quite often these days is – 1 Peter 5:6-7, "Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that He may lift you up in due time.  Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you".

What’s there to worry really.  God has given me the biggest comfort in the fact that Iceman is with me in Christ.

Everything will work out.

Undecided

Was looking for a new theme for my blog.  Found 4 that I like but can’t quite decide which I should use.

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This is nice except it’s a little too wide to fit exactly into my 1024×768 monitor setting.

 

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Will it look like I lost my marbles if I used this?

 

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Nice shade of colours except the design’s quite plain?

 

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I quite like this except not many people may scroll right to the bottom and see the houses. 

Sigh.  What do you think?