Two couples i know, both of which have been dating a long time, just broke up recently. 1 couple had been dating for 4 years, and the other 8 years. I don’t know whether ‘incompatibility’ is a valid reason for a break up. ‘Cos there are couples who do not seem to fit together at all, but their love is strong enough to bind them together. Perhaps it’s the divergence of beliefs and dreams, and the increased number of choices that people have nowadays that make relationships so extra fragile. Or maybe it’s just that we are becoming a more selfish lot, rushing into relationships more impulsively, and then running out even faster.
The first couple mentioned above belong to the same clique of friends and with their break up, which was initiated by the gal, she feels that it’s only right that she gives both of them a bit of space and so she won’t be hanging out with the clique of friends for a while… which is (i think) the right thing to do. She said it was “collateral damage”. A very apt description indeed.
A guy i used to go out with got married recently. We’ve always kept in touch after our break up. Maybe not frequently… but he would always refer any real estate deals to me (when i was still in the industry) and we would always say hi whenever we saw each other. But after his wedding invitations went out, he looked right past me whenever our paths crossed. Only one way to describe this – collateral damage. I always refer to his now wife as a 3rd party, though to be fair, i will add that they only got together “officially” after we broke up. But hey, what’s in a name? A rose by any other name smells as sweet? A nail stepped on by either foot would be as painful?
Then there’s my most recent dating fiasco. My “former friend” is not only giving me a wide berth… even my poor sayang gets protracted replies from this guy with regard to group outings and the like. I kind of suspect this “former friend” is hesitant in replying ‘cos he’s not sure if i’ll be there. Sometimes i am, sometimes i’m not. Whatever the case, get over it mate! People move on you know. He always said he uses a snail emoticon in his MSN nick ‘cos his life is moving too slowly for him. Hmm… maybe that explains it huh?
Well, tragic as it is, the most common collateral damage is and will always be, friendship.
I strongly believe, in fact I am 100% sure your sayang would rather get the protracted replies then lose his sayang. After all, sayang level is kinda diff level from activities level friends.
Well, tonight went well didn’t it? I love shocked expressions but at least he recovered a lot better thAn during F1 last Sunday. At least he could make conversation and he didn’t shy away from sitting next to me during supper. He was in pain throughout F1 lor. Hahaha. Though i kind of enjoy seeing people grimace. 😛