Not too long ago, i attended this training where the trainer spoke about the conscious & unconscious mind. The trainer believed that people found it extremely difficult to break old habits because no matter what their conscious mind told them to do, their unconscious mind would always act to steer them back to their old nature.
I agree with what the trainer said though i call it the heart vs. the mind. I realised a long time ago that even if your mind can think through a situation and come up with the most logical, most rational decision that you should take, as long as your heart tells you to go the opposite direction, chances are, you would head the way your heart told you to. The bottomline is, if you followed the decision of your mind, even if everything turned out fine, you would always still question and ask yourself, “what if…” But if you followed your heart’s decision, even if it turned out to be a mistake, you would still not regret it.
Ever since i came to this conclusion, i’ve always tried to listen to my heart. The best way of listening to what your heart is telling you is this: toss a coin. That’s because if the toss affirms what you really want in your heart, you’ll be very happy to follow through with the results. However, if the toss was against what your heart wanted, then you would probably want to toss again, and again, till the outcome matched what your heart wants. Point is, the result of the toss isn’t the main thing that you’re trying to find out… it just gives that tiny voice inside you a loudspeaker to shout what it wants to say.
That said, i’m afraid i’ve not been very good at listening to what my heart wants in recent years. This is especially true in the work arena, where it is often easier to take the path of least resistance. To just go with a job that feeds you, rather than something that you could do with much passion. And as time goes by, i think the tiny voice inside me developed a chronic sore throat ‘cos it’s barely audible.
I know that tiny voice used to be a very stubborn thing. It would go against the world if it had to, just to guard its beliefs. Nowadays, it does flare up occassionally… make that very occassionally. But it has mellowed to the extent that i don’t recognize it anymore.
And so i’ve decided to embark on a journey to find that tiny voice. I actually miss its stubborness, its persistence, and its uncompromising stance on what it sets its sight on. I think coupled with a slightly more matured mind now, that voice might sing a better song than what it used to.