Weddings & Me

I’ve always liked going for weddings because i feel very honoured to be invited.  I mean, if the couple didn’t consider u a friend, they wouldn’t invite u right?  But recently, whenever i’m supposed to attend a wedding, i sometimes wonder why i am invited.  Is it ‘cos they remember me as a friend?  Or ‘cos i’m part of this larger clique of friends so they felt obliged to invite me?

I don’t know.  Still don’t have the answer.  Worse still, i tend to panic as the wedding date draws near and i wonder if the couple knows that i’m attending the wedding!  As in… did i RSVP properly that they know i’m going?  I have this major fear – what if i turn up at the dinner and… there isn’t a place for me!!

Tonight was the wedding of 2 of my friends from NTU H11.  I suspect the only reason why i was invited was ‘cos i saw the wedding photos on the bride’s friendster a/c and congratulated her there.  I told a mutual friend my theory but he said, “No lah. Weren’t u and the bride quite close in NTU?”

Well, we were close in the first year of uni… but as i got more detached in my 2nd year (didn’t join much hall activities ‘cos i wasn’t planning to stay in my 3rd year), i lost touch with a lot of the happenings in the hall.  I know the groom as well ‘cos we worked together in the D&D committee for my hall… and i guess we got along pretty ok while in the comm.  But likewise, i never really kept in touch with him after the D&D event was over.  In fact, since graduating in 2001, i’ve only met up the bride only once in the past 5 years!

Sometimes we do send each other friendster msgs… but the online exchanges never last for long.  Some people may ask then… why the heck did i attend the wedding then?  Well, truth be told, i miss my old friends.  And i feel very happy that they’re getting married.  I think they make a wonderfully compatible couple.  A match made in heaven.

Seeing a lot of old friends at the dinner (someone commented that it was like our hall’s D&D all over again) made me very glad.  It is always nice to catch up with old friends and reminisce about the “glorious days of our youth”.

Pondering about this while driving home, i concluded that it’s just me.  Maybe it’s got something to do with the fact that i’m an only child… ‘cos somehow i’m ultimately still quite a loner.  Sure, i know like tons and tons of people… but i don’t belong to any particular group.  It’s more like i have 1 or 2 close friends and through them, i’m linked to many many different cliques… but i don’t have like a posse of friends that i identify, or am identified with.  Over time, i must confess that i talk less and less to many old friends that i used to be close to.

Is this a natural process in life?  That we tend to mix less and less with our friends as we get older?  That our social circle shrinks as time goes by?  Sigh… so if u’re an old friend, and u see this post somehow, i just want to say thank you for the friendship we have and er, if u’re getting married, i look forward to your invitation.  🙂

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July 2006