Have u ever gone through stuff from like 10 years ago… and u realise u really miss the “good ol’ times”?  And while u’re missing the good ol’ times, do u wonder if who u are today, is the same person as who u thought u’ll be today, 10 years ago?

I got inspired to do a google search for myself on the Internet… and i found my old homepage.  That homepage was done in 1996 and last updated in 1998.  I still feel embarrassed about the cheesy graphics, hard to read text against the colourful backgrounds… and even my rant on the main page.  But i can never bear to can that site ‘cos whenever i go through the pages, heaps of wonderful memories come flooding back.  I think the happiest days of my life was from 1996 – 1998, when i could just have a lot of fun in school, get to know tons of new friends, not have to worry about work, and exams always work out for themselves.  Haha.

Life seemed so full of promise then.  That was a stage when i was on the brink of “growing up” so all the promises i made to myself when i was young… all the “when i grow up i’ll be…” or “when i grow up i’m going to”… they were supposed to materialise soon!

Unfortunately, things often do not turn out as planned.  I didn’t go to law school, still have minimal savings in my bank account, and well, life just isn’t quite as perfect as i thought it would be.  (Not that it’s bad.  Just not perfect.)  Reality is just so very very vastly different from idealism.

I wish i could return to my state of thinking then, and somehow turn the tap of idealism on in my life now.  I wish i could still be thoroughly optimistic & hopeful of life.  I wish i could… can i?

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October 2006