"Where am I going to?"

It’s been a rather tumultuous 4 weeks for me.  Broke up with my bf, rebounded with a new guy, got un-rebounded, and along the way discovered that i am actually capable of genuinely feeling for another person.  I think i buried that ability to feel some years ago… and it’s ‘cos of that my last 2 r/ships did not work out.

It’s good to realise where we’ve hardened our hearts and to regain the ability to feel ‘cos life would be meaningless otherwise.  For now, i’m just going to focus on gaining some balance in my life.  Not going to jump out of the frying pan & into the fire by getting into another r/ship so soon.  Just want to broaden the scope of my interests & hobbies.

In recent years, i’ve always told everyone that “i just don’t do sports”, that “i’m into more ‘relaxed’ stuff”.  Partially true i suppose – the only things i do nowadays (and even then it’s only on the rare occasion) are salsa & KTV.  Shocking it may be… but i used to be in my school’s table-tennis team… was a decent swimmer… and scored As & Bs in my physical fitness tests in school (ok, except for flex-arm hang).  Eh, i like freaking climbed Mt. Kinabalu before lah!  (Tho’ i don’t think that’s a big deal once u’ve seen the local women carry gas tanks up & down the mountain.)

Whatever the case, inertia has obviously got the better of me.  But i don’t want to “waste” my life away like that… time is short… so i have to use it wisely!  I just learnt how to play pool… and i think i’m picking it up pretty fast… haha.  Boosts my self-esteem… makes me feel good about myself that as long as i’m willing to apply myself, nothing’s too difficult.

So i’m going to really get my ass moving… i’ve arranged to play badminton next week, and i’m going to salsa regularly again… will start playing the piano more often, continue practising playing pool, and i’ll take a plunge in the actual swimming pool too.  Will probably go running once i get a pair of track shoes!!  (Can u believe it?  The last pair i owned was 10 years ago…)

Yup!  This is a written commitment to say – i can do it!!  Doesn’t matter if the papers have condemned my shelf-life to be another 7.5 years.  I’ll get by, i always have before.

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November 2006