End of my Tether

I just lost it.  Blew up.  This blog was set up for me to bitch, to whine, and to let out all my frustrations.  It’s also a platform for me to share happy, sad and comical things that happen in my often overly “dramatic” life with close friends like Iceman, Azure, Zounds, Katrine, and some church friends.  It was NOT set up for ex-bfs to keep track of my life.  That was one of the main reason this blog was password-protected quite a bit at one stage.  ‘Cos i am NOT comfortable with silent readers delving into my life, then forcing their unwanted concern on me.

How does one impose unwanted concern?  That is when one gets all emotional, acts like the victim, starts messaging me out of the blue about being upset and getting all philosophically depressed, and repeatedly badgers me with his wish to “be friends”.  After which i would receive apologetic messages / sms-es, etc, about the behaviour, AND coupled with his friend’s genuine concern for him that somehow becomes my problem too?

ENOUGH!  Really.  ENOUGH already!  In case anyone is wondering, this isn’t a problem with me ok?  As Zounds said… if it can’t be a clean break, it’ll have to be an ugly one.  I’m friends with all my ex-bfs and that’s ‘cos everything was always amicable, and no one harassed the other party.  Hassling leaves a very bad aftertaste.  And when my parents, whom i often keep in the dark about my problems, also observe that something’s not right, u can jolly well bet your last dollar the problem doesn’t lie with me.

So there.  That’s how i feel.  It’s not like i’m the type who cannot maintain friendships when the r/ship doesn’t work out.  Hey, i would even proudly say that i’m good friends now with a cassanova who tried to bed me but obviously didn’t succeed.  That’s ‘cos i can detach myself from the situation and deal with matters with a logical mindset.  However, i cannot deal with people who come to me with puppy-dog sadness.  THAT is precisely the thing that causes the friendship to be impossible.

Forgive my unkindness.

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March 2007