Surprise Me

A friend asked me just now how do i find the energy to blog so often.  I said i just have a lot of pent up angst that needs releasing.  Heh.  And that’s the way i am.  I seldom bottle my feelings up and when i’m upset about something, i will whine and whine till it’s all out of my system, and then the pragmatic side of me takes over, and i get on with life.  After all, no matter how shitty things turn out, and no matter how much u whine, time doesn’t stand still for anyone right?  Things change, people move on, so we just have to put the past behind us and put our best foot forward.

Met HD in a group setting last Saturday and Sunday.  Everything was ok but yet it felt a little strange ‘cos i cannot remember how it feels like to be friends with him.  Sure i can remember some private jokes we had but not how it feels?  Hmm… it was ok yet strange.

When i got home just now, first thing i did was to boot up my lappy (new toy mah).  Once i got connected to MSN, i glanced through the contact list to look for Iceman or Azure to tell them that i bought my mouse already.  Going through the list, i saw HD online.  I was surprised.  He’s in Tianjin now and i didn’t think he would come on MSN.  After all, he had quit MSN for over a year before we started hanging out and i never saw him online after we had our “talk” on Labour Day.

Perhaps he was really really bored in Tianjin, which by his own admission, is a “sparse town”.  Perhaps he’s not avoiding me anymore and so he was willing to venture online to alleviate his boredom.  Perhaps someone else has become his bad online habit.  *Shrugs*.  He has become a mysterious stranger.  So who knows right?

I still don’t think the friendship will ever be like before.  We hadn’t known each other long enough for the friendship, while intense, to develop to a mature and stable one.  It’s not like Iceman and me – everytime we have a disagreement, we are always able to work things out.  Whatever the case, it doesn’t really matter though i would say, i hope to be surprised.


P.S. I think Airbus has gone into Hibernate mode again… but that’s a story for another day.

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June 2007