Have u ever felt invisible before?  Like u’re with a group of people but they don’t seem to notice anything about u?  Things u say don’t seem to register?  Did no one hear what u say?  Did no one see a glaring change in your appearance?  Or perhaps no one cares?

It used to hurt me to be invisible.  But over time, i’ve become accustomed to it.  Maybe it’s ‘cos i no longer consider these people as “friends”.  They’re more like acquaintances.  With the rare exception of perhaps 2 guys in the group, i feel nothing for the rest of the people.  They are no different from the strangers i meet on the street. 

One of the 2 guys that i still consider friends told me that he’s concerned about how i’ve decided to stop participating in group activities.  He said it was important to have a network / support group of friends with the same belief system.  I can only muster a cynical smile.  If my non-believing friends show more concern and appreciation for who i am, and more patience for my shortcomings, then why do i want to torture myself by hanging out with a group of people with whom i rank lowest in their priority list?  Why would i want to subject myself to obliging them whenever they want to do something, knowing they would not place any significance to what i want to do?

Time is precious, and i’ll rather spend it with people who hear and see me.

1 Response to “Invisible”

  1. 1 katrine

    sometimes people just do that to make you feel bad. Don’t bother – because if that is their mentality, then they are not worth it to begin with.

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August 2007