all i want for Christmas…

hay in mouth.jpg dear friends & fans of Pinky,

if u ever meet the tooth fairy, pummel her for me.  beat her up, pull her hair, use your six-carat diamond to scratch her face!  that horrible con-fairy! b*tch!

i first met the tooth fairy 2 weeks back. when i went for my snip snip op. after i woke up at the vet’s clinic, i found myself locked up in this big metal cage. i wanted to escape & go home but the bars of the cage were really strong. so i did what i usually do at home – i bit the grilles really hard, trying to tell those stupid nurses to let me out. i mean, whenever i bite my cage at home, my servants would come running to let me out. i’m the boss u know! but the stupid nurses at the clinic ignored me. they paid more attention to all the smelly dogs & cats in the clinic. no one bothered about me. 🙁

that’s when the tooth fairy appeared. she told me to bite harder. she said if i bit hard enough, someone would surely let me out. desperate, i listened to her advice & bit as hard as i could. unfortunately, i soon felt my front tooth loosening!! i was so scared. i asked the tooth fairy what i should do and she told me to continue biting.

and so i did. in the end, after i finally came home, my tooth was hurting so much that i could barely eat. a few days ago, although the pain was gone, my tooth was gone too… it broke in half! 🙁 i no longer have handsome teeth! i’m really upset about it but the worst was yet to come. this morning when i woke up, i realised that my entire tooth dropped out! BWAAAHHH!!! i saw the evil tooth fairy carrying my tooth. she waved to me as she flew away with my tooth! that horrible horrible evil creature!

i’ve heard that when a tooth fairy takes your tooth, she leaves a coin in exchange for it. but this cheat didn’t leave me anything! in fact, she even snitched some of my yummy grains when she flew off. %&#^@

i feel so cheated. so upset. now i have ugly teeth, and problems chewing my carrot strips, and everyone’s calling me “bo-kay”. but i’m not eating beansprouts i tell u!

i overheard my maid scheduling another appointment with the vet for me on Friday. why do i have to keep going to the vet? i don’t like the vet. i don’t like people who are allergic to me. my maid said that the vet i’m seeing on Friday is the most experienced one in the clinic. the specialist of specialists. not the allergic one. but i’m not comforted. i want my tooth back. my other bottom front tooth is also crooked now. i’m very upset. sob. do u think i could get my teeth back in time for Christmas?

extremely upset,

Pinky

Laughing Lizard & Rookie Roach

One evening last week, i got home from work feeling really exhausted & collapsed on my bed for a nap. After about 45min, i was rudely awakened by this super loud cackling sound – it was the sound that lizards make! It was really REALLY loud… loud enough to jolt me, a sleeper who usually needs at least 2 alarm clocks to wake me up, right out of dreamland. The cackling sound was coming from around my pc area & drowsily, i opened my eyes to try to spot the culprit. But the lizard remained well-hidden from view.

Two days later, i was once again awakened (this time in the morning) by the sound of a lizard cackling!! This time, it was coming from somewhere around my bedside table! I woke up & looked around… but still i couldn’t see the darn lizard!

It wasn’t till another couple of days when i finally saw the lizard! I saw it in my toilet actually and guess what?? It was the tiny lizard i spotted on the staircase last week! It was soooo small when i saw it on the staircase – about 2cm from head to tail?? This 2nd time that i saw the lizard, it had grown a little… to about 2.5cm… but it was still really tiny… and was quite cute actually! Cute enough for me to leave it alone & not hatch plans to kill it. (I must add that for a teeny weeny lizard, it sure has a loud voice lor!)

I thought to myself, “Aiyah, never mind lah. Maybe it’ll help get rid of small pests like ants / bugs & stuff in my room. And if it grows up & becomes ugly, maybe it’ll still be useful for eating cockroaches.” So i left it alone.

BUT!! I concluded today that this is one lazy lizard! Last night, i left a half-finished bottle of Yakult on my bedside table and when i woke up this morning, i found ants crawling around the bottle. So yucky.

And while i was taking a shower just now? I saw a teenage roach crawling on the floor! It tried to stay out of sight by crawling near the edge of the wall but too bad… i paid good money for my Lasik op… and i spotted the wretched being! I immediately jumped out of the shower, grabbed the insecticide near my sink, and sprayed the roach. Stupid rookie. It pengsan on its back and i used toilet paper to pick it up, and flushed it down the toilet bowl.

Sigh… i really must give that baby lizard a lecture when i see it again. Want to stay in my room must do work lah! How can it just get free lodging and not get rid of all these pests? Then i might as well drown the lizard as well right?? Tsk tsk!

Down with freeloaders!