Emotional Piles

Long time ago, when i was working in an insurance company, this underwriter used to comment that some agents are like piles – they never go away. I thought this analogy was really apt ‘cos agents can be real bothersome… and as underwriters, it was just so appropriate to use a medical condition to describe them.

I think i suffer from emotional piles. I always upset myself over someone, then i treat it with a bit of logical contemplation and it goes away, only to return not too long after. I’ve been struggling with my emotional piles again the past few months. The condition got better then worse, then better again… it has been quite a rollercoaster ride.

The deal is i like this guy. But this chap obviously doesn’t like me. Was telling a friend, Enix, about it and he thinks that i should just do a showhand before i “throw in the towel”. I was going to do that (that was the wild thing i told azure i might do on my birthday) but decided that i didn’t need my piles exploding in my face (ass… whatever…) so i kept my feelings in check.

I really should have talked to God more about this but i didn’t. Thankfully, i think our Father knows what troubles us and i had a small epiphany tonight. I can’t quite put it in words yet but i think i know what God wants me to do. It boils down to 1 word – trust. To trust that everything works for the good of those who love Him. Or as what someone told me a long long time ago – when you get things right with God, everything else will fall in place. Being a naturally gan cheong person, i often cannot grasp this concept. But it’s ok. God is patient. He has given me extra tuition in this aspect. (God must be Singaporean. :P)

Hence, putting aside the painful emotional piles i’ve been having (the pain doesn’t go away immediately but at least i know nipping it now is the way to go), there’s a more pressing matter on hand!

How the heck am i supposed to react the next time i meet Cuppaccino?! ARGHHHHH!!!! I can’t believe i did what i did! This is soooo bad. Can a person die from embarrassment? My goodness, i may be the first. I totally can’t get over what has transpired man! Words fail me completely. *Bangs head on keyboard*. asdbl;f a;sdfj;’a we’apg’ ‘psap02q3r5

Shared my cringe worthy story with Adam just now and i think he was rather amused. But Adam managed to put a good band-aid on my blistering ego. (It’s like the ultimate malu lor!) He said, “let Cuppa handle it”. Such a simple statement but so profoundly true. Heh… why get myself flustered up right?

With my 2 biggest issues resolved, i think i can sleep soundly tonight. Uh oh… it’s 5:20am now… not going to get much more sleep. I think i’ll need to overdose on coffee again tomorrow…

0 Responses to “Emotional Piles”

  1. No Comments

Leave a Reply

June 2005