Without Hope or Agenda

Having studied Literature before, i am fond of dissecting sentences and exploring what they really mean. I like the statement “without hope or agenda” from the movie Love Actually because it’s such a simple sentence but yet it speaks volumes.

To have no hope means to have no future because as long as there’s a tomorrow, that means there must exist some hope for a positive outcome, no matter how obscure the chance may be. To be without agenda would mean to approach an issue with all earnestness and honesty, and with no selfish or hidden expectations.

This is something that is not easily accomplished. Human beings thrive on hope and being naturally selfish, we always expect returns whenever we invest our time and effort in something. To live each day at a time, without hope of being able to enjoy the same thing tomorrow, and to savour each moment just for what it is, without wishing for more, is tough. It is really tough. Sometimes, i even wonder if it is something that can be done… or do we just delude ourselves into thinking that we are being “without hope or agenda”, just so that we can avoid dealing with things we don’t want to deal with for another day.

12 days. If i had been able to be truly without hope or agenda, the next 12 days would not weigh heavily upon my heart. I would not have a sense of fear of losing something, which oddly was never exactly in my grasp either.

The irony is? The 12 days could easily be sorted out today… but ‘cos i know i would have to deal with the outcome anyway, i’m just buying another 12 days of hope. Sigh. What can i say? I’m human. I need hope, and i have an agenda.

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April 2007