If It Happens

Was catching up on all my blog readings today (last time i checked all my fave blogs was end of Aug!  Before my HK trip!) when i came across a link to Sumiko Tan’s article about how a woman needs a man.  I like what she said at the end –

“So, yes, the life of a woman will be complemented and enhanced by the right male companion.

But as my colleague also said, she’d rather be single and alone than to be married and miserable – and there are an awful lot of unhappy “happy couples”out there.”

At the last 3 group events i attended – a wedding dinner, a birthday celebration, and a birthday party, i noted that i belonged to the really tiny minority of being a “singleton” at those events.  While my closer clique of friends are of the same status as me, my wider circle of friends are mostly married, engaged, or at least have someone that they are seeing on a more serious basis. 

It also doesn’t help when friend(s) who are about to get married keep harping on the wonders and bliss of marriage.  As Sumiko Tan aptly stated in her article,

“Such a relentless onslaught of this singling out of singletons is enough to make even the most self-assured of independent women lose their self-esteem when, really, they should be cherishing their freedom.”

Don’t these people understand that not everyone wants to get married?  At least not me, not now.  And the strangest thing i’ve been hearing very often recently is, “You’re not attached?  Don’t bluff lah”.

Duh?!  What’s there to lie about man?  “Bluff you got money ah?”. 

I’m not the sort who will let someone say something without forcing them to think deeper into what they are trying to say.  So i will probe – what’s that supposed to mean?  Am i supposed to be attached?  Is it my social responsibility?  Is this some sort of expectation that i’m supposed to live up to?  And why is there such an expectation of me?

I don’t blast all those questions at the same time of course… but just asking at least 1 or 2 of the above questions is usually enough to stump people who question why i’m still single into silence.  I just get annoyed when people impose their own brainless assumptions that everyone aims to be like them, on me.  (Actually this doesn’t just apply to wanting to get married.  I just hate it when people people impose their assumptions on me).

So, don’t ask me when i’m getting married.  Don’t ask me if i’m attached.  Don’t ask me if i’m even seeing anyone.  If i am, you will surely know.  (Come on, what is this blog for right?) 

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September 2007