iceman & me

DSCN2850 a lot of people were curious how Iceman and i got together.  a JC classmate almost didn’t believe it and thought i was joking when he asked if we were a couple (‘cos of my MSN pic) and i said we were.  so how did we get started?  i would say it started 11 years ago in Mar 1996 but i guess we could fast forward a little…

Azure, Iceman and i were supposed to go on a holiday to HK in Aug last year. however, my boss’ wife was giving birth in Aug so i had problems taking leave. Iceman had an exam on 1 Sep and so he had to study too. in the end, we decided to go to HK in Sep, after his exams. however, Azure couldn’t make it ‘cos she just changed jobs and couldn’t take leave while on probation.

Iceman and i decided to go on the trip w/o Azure in the end. we stayed at his bro’s place and i had a really really fantastic 6 days in HK. little did i know, a flippant remark i made on the 2nd night we were there led to Iceman attempting to avoid me after we got back. i felt something was wrong… but yet i didn’t manage to get an answer from Iceman. then came the fateful drinking session at Tavern on 12 Oct 2007 (Fri). Booze Queen and i were asking the others if they wanted to move on to another pub for round 2 when Iceman said he had to go home early ‘cos he had something on the next day. despite my repeated questioning, he refused to say what he had on the next day! BQ then blurted out, “Don’t want to say must be going on a date lah!”

Iceman kept quiet at her statement. that led to this deep sinking feeling within me. i kept up my smiles and continued teasing Iceman… but sadly, i couldn’t fish any more info out of him. that night, on the way back, i sms’d saying that i didn’t need him to tell me what stage he and “that gal” were at, but i just wanted to know a yes or no question – was he interested in her?

Iceman’s reply was, if i were the good friend that i’m supposed to be, i would stop asking. he said, “since when have i not told u when something does happen?”.  i was greatly disappointed by his reply.  i was upset that all this while, i thought he was busy when his replies on MSN were slow… and that he was caught up with his studies and was not avoiding me… there was perhaps, another gal.

i moped at home the next day, listening to the song “I’ll Be Okay” by Amanda Marshall.  hey, the reason why i loved the movie My Best Friend’s Wedding so much was ‘cos when i watched it with Iceman, i realised that one day, i may end up like Julianne in the movie!

finally, i managed to corner Iceman into meeting me for lunch on Sun. i really wanted to know what was happening because i never felt closer to losing someone so dear to me before. when i woke up on Sun about 12ish, i was a little happy ‘cos i thought i would finally have a chance to clarify matters with Iceman. i quickly called him to arrange lunch… but he said he already arranged to meet someone else for lunch. i asked him if it was “that gal” and he said yes. my heart sank. Iceman pressed me to tell him why i was acting funny. i really wanted to tell him how i felt there and then… but all i could muster was a “i don’t feel good about it” over MSN.

Iceman called while in the cab to meet “that gal”. he kept asking me what i meant by “i don’t feel good”… but i couldn’t bring myself to say it.  after repeated badgering, i said a one-liner. “i am jealous”. Iceman wanted me to clarify what i meant but i refused. i said i’ll tell him later… ‘cos i needed time to formulate my thoughts.

took me 30min but i sent a 4-msg sms to Iceman essentially saying that i’ve always wondered if we could be more than friends, but the logical side of me always kept my feelings in check.  took quite a bit of courage for both of us i suppose… but thank the Lord, both of us felt pretty much the same about each other.  ("that gal" was but his bro’s ex-colleague who just moved to SG and his bro asked if he could help if she needed help… not that she didn’t like him lah… but that’s another story altogether).

now… what was the thing that i said in HK that led to us almost "missing" each other again?  sigh.  on the 2nd night of our trip in HK, Iceman’s bro, in front of a whole table of people said to me, “i don’t know why my bro and u aren’t together”.  to which my fast and flippant reply was, “oh please. if your bro and i were together, it would be like incest”.

Iceman said he was stunned and extremely taken aback by my reply.  so much so that he thought i didn’t feel anything at all, and deepened his belief that we could never be more than friends.  this also led to all our photos taken thereafter to be kind of awkward – ‘cos he wanted but didn’t dare put his arm around me.  he also tried to get me to hang around for a while at Changi Airport after we got back… hoping to find an opportunity to tell me how he felt… but i rushed off ‘cos my dad was picking me up.  heh.

anyway, for the huge merry go round we’ve taken, i’m glad we’re very merry folks now.  life has been good.

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January 2008