Looking Forward

Cirrus (aka Clown) wished me Happy Chinese New Year twice over MSN.  The first time, i ignored it because somehow, his seemingly harmless greetings tend to come with a secret agenda.  Can’t blame me for my paranoia after the extremely ugly break up we had.  I’ve never had an ex-bf harass me before… waiting outside my house, insisting that i talk to him face to face, leaving 16 missed calls on my hp each time, pretending to want to commit suicide, etc. 

Over the 1 year plus since we split up, he has also regularly told me about his pain over MSN though he "doesn’t expect me to patch up with him".  All these chats would start off with an "innocent" "how’s work?" kind of greeting.. and slowly sink into a "oh i am so miserable" hell hole.  So u really can’t blame me for being paranoid.  Not when just about 3 months ago, he told me that he had a dream of us and after he woke up, he realised that he doesn’t truly love his current gf, yada yada yada.

So when the second Happy CNY greeting came from Cirrus 2 days back, i was extremely reluctantly to acknowledge it.  I eventually did, gave a monosyllabic reply to his "how’s life" (hey life’s good man!  What else can i say right?) and then let the conversation die a silent death.

The reason why i’ve decided to write this post tonight is ‘cos a new (lunar) year has come round… and i think people need to learn to look and move forward.  Like i said before… that’s the reason why our eyes are placed in front of us right?  Humans, are meant to be forward looking.

That’s brings me to the latest incident in the deterioration of the friendship between Airbus and me.  I asked a couple of my non-Singaporean friends if they were going back to their homes for Chinese New Year.  Airbus was one of those i asked… and his reply was, "Who’s this?".  I was puzzled and did a quick check… and realised that Airbus has deleted me from his MSN contact list.  Maybe it’s an MSN bug, maybe it was accidental, or maybe that’s his way of being forward looking.

Oh well, i’m definitely looking forward to the year of the Rat.  Not going to let anything else drag me down.  :)  If there was 1 important lesson i learnt in the year of the Pig, that’s God always gives us wonderful gifts… but the decision to accept the gift lies with us.

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February 2008