Friendship Happens

Neon (October 7 at 9:26pm): Hi, are u still at BKK? heard that ppl over here are rioting and sealed off the roads, in order to force the president to step down. Are you ok?

Me (October 15 at 9:56am): oh hello… didn’t see got new msg. hahahaha. most of e protests last week were around parliament house so the other areas were quite ok. thks for asking.

Neon (October 15 at 6:15pm): I see, no wonder yr replies are belated. Would you include me in yr msn list? So no more waiting or belated replies 🙂

Me (October 20 at 10:47pm): Sorry. MSN is reserved for good friends only.

Neon (October 21 at 12:27am): Orrrr… A curt reply… No prob.

Neon (October 22 at 4:15pm): Wondering how can one be a gd friend of another when there is barrier to effective communication?

Sheesh.  This guy is persistent.  Partner told me that Neon has been asking him to introduce me to him since Partner’s wedding.  This is despite the fact that Partner told him that I’m attached, and I would never like someone like him.

To be fair, I’ve ever asked myself the question – if I refuse to add someone on MSN/ICQ because that person’s not my friend, how then can that person become my friend?  Does it imply that I’m willing to meet up with that person over coffee?  Or exchange phone numbers?

Well, anyone thinking along those lines is sorely mistakened.  I think genuine friendship just happens.  It’s not something that can be systematically planned or artificially cultivated.  I have friends on MSN whom I haven’t met in person… like Genma.  (He’s a senior from TJC that I’ve known online since IRC days).  But we can talk about a wide range of topics – tech gadgets, current affairs, updates on our relationships and the usual "talk cock sing song" nonsense.  So in a IRC chatroom full of people, we managed to click and over the years, an electronic pen-pal sort of friendship developed.

Thus, I think friendship simply "happens".  A meeting of kindred spirits, in accordance to God’s providence.

Anyway, this is going to be my reply to Neon:

Me: Since u asked, I might as well be honest.  There were 2 reasons why my replies were always delayed.  First was because I don’t check my FB messages very often.  Second was because even after I saw your messages, I didn’t really have anything to say to you.

That’s my diplomatic way of saying – you don’t interest me… not even as a friend.  Bleah.

2 Responses to “Friendship Happens”

  1. 1 Ripalo

    *Pls forgive me if i sounded rude. I have no intention of being rude. Just spilling out my opinions*

    I do feel that yeah, friendship cannot be made or cultivated. It is like that, a natural chemistry. Even best friends from a time can become total strangers once the chemistry changes.

    But i do feel that it would be very cruel for you to reject him like that. Everyone deserves a chance for friendship. And well, if he wants to court you, its his right correct? I mean, you can blatantly tell him that you are not interested in him. But say you can be his friend.

    I noticed many people have lots of friends at some time of their lives. But always in a period of peril and whatsoever, we always notice that it is not “your supposed friends” that help you out. Instead, its the person you never thought off, never bothered to speak to.

    Friendship can be made, just not forcefully. Appreciate every person who wants to be your friend. It’s kind of a fate that he saw you, met you, and tried to be friends with you.

    I don’t know why i’m writing such a long post, which i rarely do to people who are not my close friends. but i suppose im doing so, because its fate.

    Pls don’t be angry with me, im jz leaving my opinion. If you don’t like it. Delete it. I have totally no objection.

  2. 2 uptowngal

    Hi Ripalo! Thanks for stopping by. Genuine/honest opinions always welcomed. 🙂 I agree with what you say. But I guess I draw a line between wanting to know a person as a friend, and trying to know the person ‘cos you want something more than friendship. The latter would be fine and it’s the guy’s perogative… except that he knows I have a boy (and am getting married next year) and I’m not comfortable being friends with someone when I know what that person is after is not just friendship.

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October 2008