Dance like no one's watching

My company has finally decided that there’re too many short emails flying around between staff and it might be more efficient on our system resources to implement the usage of Lotus Notes Instant Messaging instead.  Out of curiousity, I took a look at our IM usage policy… I thought the last part of it was very funny.

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Appropriate instant messaging use

• Use of Eon’s IM system is permitted and encouraged where such use is for business communications.
• Occasional personal use is permitted within the guidelines of this policy, only if it is not for private business activities and does not:
  • negatively impact upon system resources,
  • interfere with work productivity, or
  • involve content that may be considered offensive by others.
• Communication sent via the IM system must be consistent with the policies, core values and objectives of Eon.
• It is the responsibility of every employee to use Eon’s instant messaging system responsibly, ethically, lawfully and professionally.
• Employees must not use profanity, obscenities, or derogatory remarks.
• Sexual, ethnic, and racial harassment messages are forbidden.
• Employees have a responsibility to protect the security of sensitive and confidential information. Such information should not be transferred via IM.

Etiquette

• Just because someone is active doesn’t mean they are free to IM with you, start by asking if they have time to chat.
• Don’t worry about strictly taking turns, or require that every line in an IM session is perfectly spelled and totally grammatical, as this will artificially slow conversation.
• Don’t use all capital letters to type your message. As with email, it’s the IM equivalent of shouting.
• Keep it short. IM is meant to be instant, not long-winded and slow.
• There are some topics best dealt with face to face, consider this when starting an IM session.
• Update your status. Switch to “I am away” when going to lunch or a meeting. Use the “Do not disturb me” status to indicate when you are really can’t be interrupted.
• Don’t say anything in an Instant Messaging session that you wouldn’t say in a face to face conversation or in an email.

Abbreviations

Abbreviations can be used to speed up communication. Some common abbreviations are:

Abbreviation /
Meaning

btw
by the way

fyi
for your information

cu
See you (later)

2
too or to

4
for

atm
at the moment

B4
before

bbl or bbs
be back later/soon

bfn
bye for now

lol
laughing out loud

Emoticons

An emoticon is a symbol or combination of symbols that convey emotional content when instant messaging. Below is a list of the most common emoticons. To more easily recognise their meaning, the reader should tilt their head toward their left shoulder.

Icon /
Meaning

: -) or : )
smile, happy

: -( or : (
sad, depressed

: -D or : D
big grin or laugh

: -P or : P
tongue out, happy or being silly

; -) or ; )
wink, being silly

: -O or : O
Surprised

: -/
uncertain/ sceptical / annoyed / uneasy

: -S or : S
confused

>: (
angry

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I’m just amused at how they explained the short forms and emoticons… heh.  How does this fall under “business usage”?  😛