Of Fickleness & Diplomacy

I find it odd how some people’s opinions of things can change in accordance to their mood.  For me, once I form an opinion of something (be it my assessment of a situation or a person), something has to happen before my opinion changes.  In recent months however, I’ve come across 2 people, whose opinions flipped from one end to the other, without any apparent change to the subject matter.

Case 1:  I told a friend that I was using my usual hairstylist, YK, to do my makeup for the JB wedding dinner.  The first time I told her, she commented that YK wasn’t very good – belonging more to the "Taiwanese style" of makeup (i.e. “cheena” at best, or “getai-ish” at worst).  I noted her feedback but didn’t do anything about it ‘cos I don’t know of anyone else of whom I’m confident of handling my hair, and who will be willing to find her way to JB to help me with makeup + hair.

About 2 months later, this same friend was around when I told another friend about using YK to do makeup + hair.  This time round, she commented that YK should do a good job ‘cos she’s quite experienced.  I was surprised at what she said ‘cos this contradicts what she told me previously but I didn’t press the issue ‘cos it’s not a big deal (since it wasn’t going to change my mind anyway).

Then came a 3rd time when the same friend was around when I brought up that YK was going to be doing my makeup + hair.  I was talking about getting a trial makeup, etc.  My same dear friend then said that she felt that YK wasn’t very good.  I was like HUH?!?  Why does her stand keep changing!  I was truly perplexed.  Once again, I didn’t press the issue.

Case 2: A colleague used to sing praises of our intern, Cache, as he is smart and eager to learn (humble chap).  Today however, she mentioned him in a negative tone when she was complaining about our CEO, Loudhailer.  She complained that we always have to bow to the whims and fancies of our bosses, and this includes taking in and training interns recommended by them, even when we are not free to do so.  I was taken aback by what she said because in the first place, Cache was not sent to our department by Loudhailer, but by our other CEO (strange but we have 2 of them working as co-CEOs).  Second, given how she has always spoken positively about Cache, why mention him in a negative light now, as though he is a waste of our time?  Even though her complaint (albeit unjustified) was against Loudhailer, isn’t it unfair to cite Cache as a negative example as a result?

I think I will make an effort to clarify this fickleness of opinion the next time it happens, though I need to find a diplomatic way of doing it.  Last night on America’s Top Model, there was this really diplomatic photographer.  Instead of telling a model that she’s ugly, he said something to the effect of, “I don’t think she’ll be a successful model because the structure of the face is not suitable for photos”.  That was an extremely polite and diplomatic way of saying, “that transsexual is ugly”.

I need to learn such diplomacy.  Many times, I do not confront issues because I don’t know how to phrase things in a pleasant way.  I have a tendency of  “giving it as it is” and obviously not many people are able to deal with a spade being called a spade.  Indeed, I need to learn to soften my words.

2 Responses to “Of Fickleness & Diplomacy”

  1. 1 BQ

    heh.. i know who are u refering to..

    Case 2 : maybe she’s just bias against loudhailer. so anything that links to him.. she hates it

    i better not comment too much… your blog is read by alot of people.. ehahaha

  2. 2 UptownGal

    Maybe she pek cek so slam anything related to Loudhailer… except… Cache wasn’t brought in by Loudhailer mah… was brought in by the other one.

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March 2009