Dance like no one's watching

Two of my friends got attached recently and although I know the guy better, it was the girl who “accidentally” let slip that she had a boyfriend.  I suspect that the slip wasn’t that accidental because she knew that I had questioned the guy previously when they were still dating, on whether he was interested in her or not, and thus she probably guessed that I would probe more into who’s her boyfriend, thereby giving her the opportunity to divulge the “secret” to me.

Through our chats in the past week, I sensed she was trying to find out where she weighs in my friend’s heart from me.  Actually, that’s the very reason why I suspected they were dating – ‘cos I felt she was trying to befriend me, in order to find out more about the guy.  I was in quite a dilemma over what to tell her when we met for dinner last week because I could see she was hanging onto every word I said about my observations about the guy and his ex-girlfriend (not that I know much about it anyway).

While I think the guy is a great person and fantastic friend – sincere, generous and kind (he never once badmouthed some hateable colleagues of his), I get the inkling that he isn’t quite the ideal boyfriend material.  I always got the impression that the guy was secretive about his past relationship because he knew it wasn’t working out, but yet he didn’t want to let go of it before he found another girlfriend.  My conclusion then was that a swinging bachelor in his late 30s is unlikely to settle down… and it’s just unfortunate that his next girlfriend turned out to be this pleasant, albeit insecure, girl.

I’m not very confident that this relationship of theirs will work out, though for both their sakes, I do hope this girl will be the exception rather than the norm, and that the guy will not let her down.  From what I heard, things have been good so far.  I think I’m going to make an effort to steer the conversation away from their relationship and my opinion of the guy as a boyfriend the next time the girl initiates chats with me.  This is a foreseeable mess I want to avoid – plus, I know regardless of whether the guy is in the right or wrong, I’m likely to be on his side, because he’s my friend (the girl’s really more an acquaintance and now I consider her the girlfriend of my friend).

Ignorance is sometimes bliss.