Not shiok yet!

I know i should be sleeping ‘cos i need to wake up in 4 hours to feed Pinky but don’t feel like sleeping leh. Not that i’m not tired… i am! But whenever i get real busy with work, i like to stay up real late otherwise i’ll feel like i’m being shortchanged by my work! Just need that “stay up until shiok” feeling.

So how did everyone spend their V-day? I didn’t have any special plans… actually, V-day just isn’t a big deal to me. Clown asked me repeatedly if i was sure i didn’t want any presents for V-day… i said no. Firstly, there’s nothing in particular i want now (heh, the new Nokia 6280 & SE k610i that i’ve been eyeing are not out yet). Secondly, i find V-day rather meaningless – i don’t understand the background nor the culture nor the tradition behind it. To me, it’s just another excuse for shops & florists to ring in the ca$h.

Thinking back, i don’t think i’ve ever truly celebrated V-day. Let’s see… the cheesy-est date i was ever invited to was to Smooth Operator’s buddy’s gf’s birthday party (her birthday falls on 14 Feb). And by some quirk twist of fate, i don’t remember ever celebrating V-day with any of my ex-bfs either! BM2000 and i were together for 2 six-month periods… but they were both from Jun – Dec… so no V-day there. Hmm… with DT, i remember having to sit for a very very tough economics test after school. Gosh! I don’t think i’ve even received any V-day presents before! Let’s see… the closest i ever got to receiving a gift would probably be when socks went Swatch shopping with his army buddy but didn’t buy anything in the end? Wahahahaha. Ok… i did get a rose from someone in TPJC long time ago but i ripped that rose up while chatting with my classmates in the canteen. Heh.

Sigh… sounds so deprived… but i am tickled. Clown said that his mom was rather surprised that he didn’t get anything for me. Er, i didn’t get anything for him either. We just went for dinner and then came back to my place to watch “The Conqueror’s Story” (u should really catch this show. It’s Chinese history packaged in the most entertaining way)… i was hoping to catch a couple of episodes but unfortunately i konked out 3/4 way through the 1st episode! Heh… utter failure.

At the end of the day, i guess it just doesn’t make sense to “celebrate your love” for someone on a day designated by God knows who (shopping centres?). I’m happy enough that my current relationship has broken the “6-month curse” and that i’ve found someone who whips up yummy dishes (and he actually does it instead of making empty promises to do it), cares for all my bunnies (except poor Patience), and entertains a gf that animates her soft toys.


The process of getting married

At a friend’s wedding dinner recently, we started talking about the process of getting married. Generally i’ve observed 2 common ways that Singaporeans get married. My observation is that Christians usually have a church wedding in the morning / early afternoon, and a wedding dinner at night, then go on a honeymoon, and stay together in their marital home after coming back. (Well, at least something very similar to that). Non-Christians on the other hand will ROM first, move into a flat together, then have a wedding dinner 2 years later.

Now this may be a little sensitive but i really don’t see the logic behind that lor. I mean, what’s the point of living together as a married couple for 2 years then have a wedding dinner? To me, it only goes to show that the wedding dinner is purely for show, whether it is to please the older generation, or for “face”.

I would rather not have a wedding dinner if that’s the case… but believe it or not… i actually want to have a wedding dinner. Somehow i think it’s cool to be able to ask people that matter to you to celebrate your wedding. It’s just so festive. 😛 Hence i’ve long made up my mind that should i ever get married, i’m going to have the works – “fetching the bride” in the morning, church wedding in the afternoon, dinner at night, then off to a honeymoon.

Clown & i have spoken about making long-term plans before… and he was actually for the idea of ROM-ing first, and having a dinner later! I objected vehemently! I was so set on my idea of how a wedding should be that i simply cannot imagine having it any other way. I explained to him the rational behind my thinking and how i didn’t want to do things in what i consider a meaningless & illogical way. But Clown brought up the fact that to fulfil my wish, we would need a lot of savings. A lot.

Strangely, when this same topic was discussed at my friend’s wedding, the gals agreed with me that they want to have the wedding dinner about the same time as their ROM / church wedding (depending on whether they were Christians or not). (I never expected that there would be a gender divide on this.) A guy who recently got married said that he wanted to do the ROM first dinner a few years later thing but his wife also objected. So the conclusion i got was that gals probably place more emphasis on the significance of getting married whereas guys may see a wedding as just a stage that a couple has to go through…. as in “i definitely want to spend my life with this person hence we have to do this thing called a wedding, so that we can get the paperwork done”. (OK, maybe not exactly like that but close…)

Anyhow, to all the people who keep asking whether i’m going to get married soon… the answer is no…. ‘cos i have no money. Haha. An estimate of the cost of getting married the way i want is about 40-50k. I’m a poor person. So now, besides an UTG Red Light Camera Fund, i’m setting up an UTG Getting Married Fund. All are welcome to donate.

Smoking Kills

Just found out that 1 of my ex-colleagues’ husband is suffering from end-stage lung cancer. He’s only 38 and yes, he is a smoker. The cancer has spread to his lymph nodes & stomach. We’re all very sad for my ex-colleague ‘cos they’ve only been married for 2 years and their daughter just turned 1 last year. This ex-colleague of mine is also in high risk of losing her job ‘cos the management has already blacklisted her for underperforming. If that happens, i really don’t know how she’s going to cope with the costs of raising a kid & all the medical bills – she’s not in very good health herself.The thing about smoking is that i’ve realised that the smoker must want to quit badly enough to actually succeed. Lots of smokers have short spells of success in quitting but the no. who pick it up again is just too high. There’s so many things out there to help people to quit – treated bubblegum, nicotine patches, etc… but some people just plain refuse to quit. Then there are those who say they’re trying… and it seems like they’ve been trying for an eternity.

There’s this website done by a friend of mine to help people to quit smoking. The URL is If you know anyone who smokes, perhaps this site can help.

Attempted Blogicide

I’ve just been posed with a serious dilemma. I’ve never been someone to mince my words, nor retract my stand. I’ve always dared to stand up for what i’ve said or done before. But the problem now is that what if things that i believe in don’t just affect me? I don’t give a damn if i lose my job or cause tons of people to hate me ‘cos of something i’ve posted on my blog. I will gladly stand by what i wrote. The problem now is, i’m worried about things i write affecting people that i love. Hence i strongly considered killing off my blog. If i have to censor my thoughts & opinions, then i would rather not have a blog ‘cos i don’t believe in doing things without meaning.My previous blog has been too exposed… some of my colleagues know of it & i guess the more people know about it, the higher the chance of my opinions bringing negative consequences on the people i cherish. Hence i decided to keep a lower profile & only let my closer friends know about this new URL. Should by some freak chance others come to find out about my blog, then i’ll accept that it was meant to be.

Blog like no one’s reading

“Work like you don’t need money, love like you’ve never been hurt, and dance like no one’s watching.” -Crystal Boyd

Came across this quote recently and I found it very meaningful. I would like to be able to live my life as above – to do my work out of passion (which brings Col 3:23 to mind – “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men”), to love like I’ve never been hurt (real tall order), and to dance like no one’s watching (I confess, I do observe if I have an audience when I salsa… some days i feel uncomfortable, some days i like the attention.)

In fact, in today’s Internet age, I would add a 4th item to the list – to blog like no one’s reading.

How many blogs are for real? Do bloggers really share their innermost thoughts and feelings? Or do they write certain statements because they want to be perceived in a certain way?

Hmm… so how do you look at me now?