My 3rd Regret

No worries… am not in a sad mood. Just felt that it was time to share about my 3rd regret, which is sort of like a combination of the first two…

When i was in TJC, i used to IRC quite often. I used to chat quite a bit with this senior of mine, Lancer. Our paths didn’t cross much in school so we barely talked much in person. But almost every nite, we would chat on IRC. Perhaps it’s precisely ‘cos we didn’t see much of each other in school that made it easy for us to share our thoughts on issues that arose, and our feelings on problems we encountered.

After Lancer graduated from TJC and went into the army, his visits to IRC became more irregular. A year passed quickly and i entered NTU. By then, i had almost stopped IRC-ing completely and thus my friendship with Lancer faded into virtual oblivion. I always told myself that one day… one day, i would get Lancer’s email add from mutual friends so i could add him on ICQ. Actually, i could vaguely remember his email add but somehow this huge procastination stopped me from doing something as simple as a search for Lancer on ICQ.

About 3 years later (i think), i was shopping with azure 1 day when we saw Lancer at Citylink mall. We were both walking quite fast in the opposite direction but when i walked past him, i stopped in my tracks, turned around and exclaimed to azure, “That’s Lancer!”. It was so silly… i actually momentarily forgot his real name and remembered only his IRC nick.

At that moment in time, i was really undecided between running after him to say hi, or to just continue towards Suntec. As his figure disappeared quickly into the crowds, i once again told myself, “Oh well, doesn’t matter. I’ll just look for him on ICQ.”

Sadly, a few months after that, i received a call from azure one night & learnt that Lancer had passed away. That was in Nov 2001. Lancer died of a heart attack while studying for his exams. Azure & i attended Lancer’s wake… we seemed a little out of place there ‘cos we were the only ones not from his clique of friends. But i thought the least i could do was to pay my last respects.

(GASP! I just recalled something! Last week, i saw this guy and thought he looked real familiar… somehow i knew he was from TJ… and now that i’m writing about Lancer, i remember that that guy was a the same table as azure & me at the wake and he gave us a ride home after that!)

Since then, whenver i bump into someone i know, i always ask myself this question – will i regret it if i don’t go up to say hi to that person? Sometimes even if i know just saying hi will not resurrect the friendship, i think it’s still worth touching base… ‘cos it’s really just about letting the other person know that you care even if both of you live in completely different worlds.

There is still 1 old friend that i’ve not contacted for some time now. He’s my good old brother, Scorpio. Scorpio’s another TJ senior that i grew close to over IRC. I remember he treated azure & i to dessert (twice) & Kenny Rogers when he came back to visit us while we were studying for our ‘A’ levels. Oh… he bought me chocolates too to encourage me to study.. haha. (Azure – do u remember this? When Scorpio came to visit us in JC, i was having some remedial maths lesson in the old old LT – LT3 or 4 i think… and u met up with him first, then paged for me and i rushed down once my lesson ended?)

Ok… all talk and no action is no good! I shall contact Scorpio again within the next week. Sure hope he hasn’t changed his mobile number! I think we last met like 2 years back? 🙁

That said, i actually had a very fulfilling past week. Work wise it was quite jam packed with deadlines & viewings… but i’m very glad that in spite of the “hectic-ness” of it all, i managed to meet up with 2 good friends, Adam & Jukebox. I also finally dropped by Airbus’ place to collect the birthday presents he bought for me from the US. (THANK YOU!!) Met some colleagues at salsa last night, and had a really good time with Iceman tonight, downing 2 pints of Hoegarden at Blooie’s & watching Shrek 2.

It was rather stressful juggling my time… but in retrospect, the satisfaction is more than worth the stress. 🙂

0 Responses to “My 3rd Regret”

  1. 1 K

    I share the same regret about Lancer as you… 🙁

    err.. think the guy who sent us home was called Daniel? I think!!

  2. 2 UptownGal

    I did something crazy after Lancer passed away – I added him on ICQ. Didn’t need authorization. It was that easy. His nick is still on my contact list till this day. Serves as a reminder to treasure those with us.

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June 2005