The process of getting married

At a friend’s wedding dinner recently, we started talking about the process of getting married. Generally i’ve observed 2 common ways that Singaporeans get married. My observation is that Christians usually have a church wedding in the morning / early afternoon, and a wedding dinner at night, then go on a honeymoon, and stay together in their marital home after coming back. (Well, at least something very similar to that). Non-Christians on the other hand will ROM first, move into a flat together, then have a wedding dinner 2 years later.

Now this may be a little sensitive but i really don’t see the logic behind that lor. I mean, what’s the point of living together as a married couple for 2 years then have a wedding dinner? To me, it only goes to show that the wedding dinner is purely for show, whether it is to please the older generation, or for “face”.

I would rather not have a wedding dinner if that’s the case… but believe it or not… i actually want to have a wedding dinner. Somehow i think it’s cool to be able to ask people that matter to you to celebrate your wedding. It’s just so festive. 😛 Hence i’ve long made up my mind that should i ever get married, i’m going to have the works – “fetching the bride” in the morning, church wedding in the afternoon, dinner at night, then off to a honeymoon.

Clown & i have spoken about making long-term plans before… and he was actually for the idea of ROM-ing first, and having a dinner later! I objected vehemently! I was so set on my idea of how a wedding should be that i simply cannot imagine having it any other way. I explained to him the rational behind my thinking and how i didn’t want to do things in what i consider a meaningless & illogical way. But Clown brought up the fact that to fulfil my wish, we would need a lot of savings. A lot.

Strangely, when this same topic was discussed at my friend’s wedding, the gals agreed with me that they want to have the wedding dinner about the same time as their ROM / church wedding (depending on whether they were Christians or not). (I never expected that there would be a gender divide on this.) A guy who recently got married said that he wanted to do the ROM first dinner a few years later thing but his wife also objected. So the conclusion i got was that gals probably place more emphasis on the significance of getting married whereas guys may see a wedding as just a stage that a couple has to go through…. as in “i definitely want to spend my life with this person hence we have to do this thing called a wedding, so that we can get the paperwork done”. (OK, maybe not exactly like that but close…)

Anyhow, to all the people who keep asking whether i’m going to get married soon… the answer is no…. ‘cos i have no money. Haha. An estimate of the cost of getting married the way i want is about 40-50k. I’m a poor person. So now, besides an UTG Red Light Camera Fund, i’m setting up an UTG Getting Married Fund. All are welcome to donate.

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January 2006