Couldn’t sleep again last night. Was tired but… mind seemed to be in overdrive and wouldn’t shutdown. Wasn’t thinking about anything in particular but my mind kept toggling between a lot of unresolved issues.
An acquaintance messaged me on MSN last week. Everytime he messages me, i know it’s about the same issue. He’s just showing concern for his friend and he has never been pushy – that’s the only reason why i don’t mind hearing him out. But, i still feel cornered to some extent because he’s asking me to do something that is outside my comfort zone now, and the last time i looked, it was still a huge can of worms. Do i really want to go there again? Well, guess what? I gave in in the end.
Then there’s J-san. He’s been taking daily walks past my desk and i feel very uncomfortable when he tries to strike up conversation because i feel like a thousand eyes are watching. I may be paranoid… but… it doesn’t help when i’ve been told there’s a rumour floating around about me. Argh.
Yesterday, when J-san came by on his daily walk, my boss started asking him about who he was looking for, etc. It was weird. J-san said he was looking for Beanstalk. I just ignored him and continued doing my work, head bent low over my notes.
I’m tired. There’s really a lot of stuff to settle at work and i just want to be left alone to concentrate on my work. Shouldn’t everyone learn to take care of themselves? Please don’t make your problems mine. I have enough on my plate. The bible says “Don’t worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about itself”. Can i turn that to i don’t want to worry about others because others should worry about themselves?
Sorry. Selfish mood.
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