Good "Suans"

Suan – To pass a sarcastic remark

You know, sometimes, some suans are so good, I consider them works of art.  Here’re some of the good ones I’ve received / given / heard.

Suan #1

Was having drinks with Bigmac, Upsize (a guy), Azure and Booze Queen two weeks ago.  We started talking about bikinis and Bigmac asked if all girls have bikinis.  Upsize then said we should have a D&D with a beach theme or something so all the girls can wear bikinis.

Upsize: So UptownGal, would you wear a bikini to our D&D?

Me: Sure.  If you wear one, I’ll wear as well.

Upsize: No problem.  I’ll wear one…so make sure you do the same.  In fact, I’ll do better than that.  I’ll go topless…

I was stumped for words.  Upsize’s suan was too good…


Suan #2

There was this Hokkaido fair at Tampines Mall some time ago and Iceman and I took a quick tour since we were waiting to watch a movie.  The fair was held at the first floor atrium area and there were several "openings" that allowed access into and out of the fair area.  As there was no clear entrance / exit markings, the crowd just squeezed in and out of all the "openings".

Iceman and I were squeezing out of one of these openings when this short and fat auntie was squeezing in.  She looked at us grumpily and said loudly to her daughter, "Hiyah!  See these people lah.  Blocking our way.. how to walk in!"

I looked at her in the eye and said, "If you were thinner, then can already lor!"

That left her stunned… and I walked out.  Hehehehehehe.


Suan #3

This is a real classic… my ex-colleague told me this incident about a decade ago.. and I never forgot it.

This ex-colleague likes to hum/sing to himself.  After buying a new CD one day, he couldn’t stop singing the songs from the CD till his friend said, "Stop singing can?  I don’t like to listen to pirated version…"


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September 2008