Dance like no one's watching

Good news for all Singaporeans! Our roads remain safe. Kid’s Meal failed her driving test… with a record 48 demerit points…

I’ve never known anyone who flunked by 48 points…

Oh and she didn’t even make it out of the test circuit…

This is what you call, “can’t out-drive stupidity”.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. 😛

My department had our CNY dinner today and the conversation shifted to Kid Meal’s driving test tomorrow.  Bouncy told Kid’s Meal to make sure that she "adjusts" all the mirrors when she gets into the car with the tester.

Kid’s Meal said, "Why must u do that?  All the mirrors will be adjusted already what ‘cos I’ll be having my driving lesson before the test."

Bouncy explained that it’s just a step that testers expect u to perform as part of the checks u’re supposed to do before u start driving (in other words, must wayang a bit).

Bigmac then added that besides checking all your mirrors, u also need to make it very obvious when u are checking your blind spots during the test… to which Kid’s Meal replied, "Oh but I don’t check my blind spots".

Appalled, I interjected, "Eh, checking blind spots is not just to pass the test leh.  It’s a safety thing that u check your blind spots before u change lanes!".

Kid’s Meal looked at me and repeated herself, "I know.  But I don’t check blind spots."

So I repeated myself, "Yah.  But u should always check your blind spots!  What if there’s a motorcycle there or something??"

Like a broken recorder, Kid’s Meal said again, "Yah. But I don’t check blind spots."

*Rolls eyes*.  I repeated myself again but Kid’s Meal said yet again, "I just don’t check blind spots."

Bigmac then chipped in, "Wow. If u pass your driving, let me know.  I’ll stop riding my bike."

Conversation overheard between Bigmac (BM) and Kid’s Meal (KM).

BM: KM, why are u writing the minutes all in first person?  U know, as in, why do you write, "ABC says: ‘I will do this’", and "DEF says: ‘I will check on this…’", etc.  Shouldn’t the minutes be in third person?

KM: Oh… I did that because it is easier to write.

BM: What do you mean easier to write?  You just need to take down the important points right?

KM: Yah… but the meeting was in dialogue, so easier to write this way.

DUH!??!?  If a meeting isn’t in "dialogue", then what would it be in?  Sign language??

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If u thought that was bad… wait till u hear what Smarties did…

After completing the renewal of 1 policy, Smarties’ boss told him that the Insured will send the documentation, etc, to their bank themselves, and there was no need to send the original policy document to the bank.

However, Smarties still sends a soft copy of the policy doc to the bank!  Exasperated, Smarties’ boss questioned, "Didn’t I tell u not to send the originals to the bank??".

Smarties replied, "Yah.  U said don’t send the original mah.  So I sent via email lor".

At this, Smarties’ boss said, "Smarties!  I want to strangle u!!!".

And Smarties (in my opinion, rather rude) reply was, "Oh shit!  Oh shit!  Oh shit!".

I mean… is that something u would say to your boss after u make a stupid booboo?

I believe it is my moral duty to tell everyone to STAY AWAY from UBI (Eunos) area this Friday, 22 Feb 2008. My belief is based on a conversation that happened earlier today…

Bigmac: So are u confident of passing your driving on Fri?
Kid’s Meal: Er, no… i’m going to have a practice session 1 hour before my test.
BM: How long have u been learning driving?
KM: Er… about 5 months now.
Me: So what car are you driving for the test?
KM: I’m not sure actually
Me: Huh? Aren’t u using your instructor’s car?
KM: Yah… but i never see what car my instructor is using…

*Faints*.

Take note ya… this is the same girl who told me she had to go home to study NOTES for her driving practical lesson because she wasn’t sure which leg to use for which pedal…

Cirrus (aka Clown) wished me Happy Chinese New Year twice over MSN.  The first time, i ignored it because somehow, his seemingly harmless greetings tend to come with a secret agenda.  Can’t blame me for my paranoia after the extremely ugly break up we had.  I’ve never had an ex-bf harass me before… waiting outside my house, insisting that i talk to him face to face, leaving 16 missed calls on my hp each time, pretending to want to commit suicide, etc. 

Over the 1 year plus since we split up, he has also regularly told me about his pain over MSN though he "doesn’t expect me to patch up with him".  All these chats would start off with an "innocent" "how’s work?" kind of greeting.. and slowly sink into a "oh i am so miserable" hell hole.  So u really can’t blame me for being paranoid.  Not when just about 3 months ago, he told me that he had a dream of us and after he woke up, he realised that he doesn’t truly love his current gf, yada yada yada.

So when the second Happy CNY greeting came from Cirrus 2 days back, i was extremely reluctantly to acknowledge it.  I eventually did, gave a monosyllabic reply to his "how’s life" (hey life’s good man!  What else can i say right?) and then let the conversation die a silent death.

The reason why i’ve decided to write this post tonight is ‘cos a new (lunar) year has come round… and i think people need to learn to look and move forward.  Like i said before… that’s the reason why our eyes are placed in front of us right?  Humans, are meant to be forward looking.

That’s brings me to the latest incident in the deterioration of the friendship between Airbus and me.  I asked a couple of my non-Singaporean friends if they were going back to their homes for Chinese New Year.  Airbus was one of those i asked… and his reply was, "Who’s this?".  I was puzzled and did a quick check… and realised that Airbus has deleted me from his MSN contact list.  Maybe it’s an MSN bug, maybe it was accidental, or maybe that’s his way of being forward looking.

Oh well, i’m definitely looking forward to the year of the Rat.  Not going to let anything else drag me down.  :)  If there was 1 important lesson i learnt in the year of the Pig, that’s God always gives us wonderful gifts… but the decision to accept the gift lies with us.

Happy Chinese New Year everyone!!

First day back to office, and i was duly entertained by Smarties and Kid’s Meal. 

Smarties was talking to another colleague of ours, Meatlover, about the volunteer work Meatlover does…

Smarties: Wow.  Then do you get paid for giving tuition?

Meatlover: Of course not lah!  It’s volunteer work.  Where got get paid one?

Smarties: Oh.  Volunteer for who?

Meatlover: CDAC

Smarties: C.. C what?  CDAC?  What’s that?

Xiao Lao Shu (obviously couldn’t take it any longer) turns around and says: The one that your pay always gets deducted $1 for lah!

P.S. For foreigners who’re not sure what CDAC stands for, it’s the Chinese Development Assistance Council (www.cdac.org.sg).

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Bigmac was relatively free today and so he was going through some mass emails that Kid’s Meal (KM) copied him in.

Bigmac to KM: So which underwriter do you think the client will go for?  Is it going to be Uleer?

KM: I’m not sure.  Upsize didn’t say.  But i think all got chance.

Bigmac: All?  Surely after the presentation to the client, one insurer would’ve stood out?  Does even Cofrance have a chance?

KM: I think so.

Bigmac: Why?

KM: I don’t know.  I think so.  But i think maybe the client will go for @traders.

(Yes, please ignore her contradiction).

Bigmac: @traders?  Why?

KM: ‘Cos Upsize said the client was very impressed by their presentation that day.

Bigmac: Oh.  What about their presentation?

KM: I think they used powerpoint, then got a lot of animation kind.  So the client was very impressed.

DUH??????????????????  Since when does an MNC pick which insurer to used based on animated powerpoint slides!!!!  Sheesh!  The naivete! 

Iceman came to my place yesterday and Muah Chee and Patience went to the living room to wish him a Happy Chinese New Year.  As i was going to Iceman’s place for dinner, i left them in the living room as they were having a pretty good time, having been cooped up in my bedroom most of the year.

This afternoon, when i was going out, i saw that Muah Chee moved from the sofa to the organ chair.  Guess he was having a ball of a time playing musical chairs.  So i left him to his own devices.  After i came back, i decided they had played enough and wanted to take them back to my room.  But Patience was no where to be found!

I asked the big teddy in the living room if he saw Patience but he didn’t.  I asked Muah Chee if he knew where Patience was and he told me in a half-panicky voice that she disappeared this morning!

I combed my living room 3x before i found her.

Guess where she was?  Perched on top of the TV, and half camouflaged with this ornament.  Heh.  Guess who suggested this hiding place to her?

Last Sunday was the last of a 4-part sermon series on the "One Thing" that pleases God.  Saw this poem in the church bulletin and liked it very much.

The Power of One

One song can spark a moment,
One flower can wake the dream.
One tree can start a forest,
One bird can herald spring.

One smile begins a friendship,
One handclasp lifts a soul.
One star can guide a ship at sea,
One word can frame the goal.

One vote can change a nation,
One sunbeam lights a room.
One candle wipes out darkness,
One laugh will conquer gloom.

One step must start each journey,
One word must start each prayer.
One hope will raise our spirits,
One touch will show you care.

One voice can speak with wisdom,
One heart can know what is true.
One life can make the difference,
You see, it’s up to you.

Haven’t been reading the usual blogs that i read… well, am on MC today (was told it’s "the common cold") so i decided to go do some catching up.  Found this interesting personality test from my friend’s blog.  Take it here.  My results as follows…

Your Type is
ESFJ

Extraverted
Sensing
Feeling
Judging

Strength of the preferences %

22
12
38
33

Qualitative analysis of your type formula

You are:

• slightly expressed extravert
• slightly expressed sensing personality
• moderately expressed feeling personality
• moderately expressed judging personality

Something more detailed…

Extraverted Sensing Feeling Judging
by Joe Butt

Profile: ESFJ
Revision: 3.0
Date of Revision: 23 Feb 2005

Guardians of birthdays, holidays and celebrations, ESFJs are generous entertainers. They enjoy and joyfully observe traditions and are liberal in giving, especially where custom prescribes.

All else being equal, ESFJs enjoy being in charge. They see problems clearly and delegate easily, work hard and play with zest. ESFJs, as do most SJs, bear strong allegiance to rights of seniority. They willingly provide service (which embodies life’s meaning) and expect the same from others.

ESFJs are easily wounded. And when wounded, their emotions will not be contained. They by nature "wear their hearts on their sleeves," often exuding warmth and bonhomie, but not infrequently boiling over with the vexation of their souls. Some ESFJs channel these vibrant emotions into moving dramatic performances on stage and screen.

Strong, contradictory forces consume the ESFJ. Their sense of right and wrong wrestles with an overwhelming rescuing, ‘mothering’ drive. This sometimes results in swift, immediate action taken upon a transgressor, followed by stern reprimand; ultimately, however, the prodigal is wrested from the gallows of their folly, just as the noose tightens and all hope is lost, by the very executioner!

An ESFJ at odds with self is a remarkable sight. When a decision must be made, especially one involving the risk of conflict (abhorrent to ESFJs), there ensues an in-house wrestling match between the aforementioned black-and-white Values and the Nemesis of Discord. The contender pits self against self, once firmly deciding with the Right, then switching to Prudence to forestall hostilities, countered by unswerving Values, ad exhaustium, winner take all.

As caretakers, ESFJs sense danger all around–germs within, the elements without, unscrupulous malefactors, insidious character flaws. The world is a dangerous place, not to be trusted. Not that the ESFJ is paranoid; ‘hyper-vigilant’ would be more precise. And thus they serve excellently as protectors, outstanding in fields such as medical care and elementary education.

Functional Analysis:

Extraverted Feeling

ESFJs live in their Extraverted Feeling functioning. Feeling, a rational (i.e., deciding) function, expresses opinions easily in the E world of objects and people. ESFJs have the ability to express warmth, rage, and a range of other emotions. Actions are encouraged or rebuked based on how they affect other people, especially people near and dear to the ESFJ. This type’s vocal decisiveness predisposes many of its number to facility with administration and supervision.

Introverted Sensing

The secondary Sensing function aids and abets the dominant Fe in that sensate data is collected and at once compared with the inner forms or standards. Data on which decisions are made are thus focused and given a contrast which tends to be stronger and clearer than the original stimuli. The strengthening effect of Si on Fe may be responsible for this type’s reputation for wearing their "hearts on their sleeves." At any rate, ESFJs reflect the "black and white" view of reality which is common to the SJ types.

Extraverted iNtuition

Intuition is tertiary–as the ESFJ matures, and as situations arise which call for suspension of criticism, Ne is allowed to play. Under the leadership of the Fe function, iNtuition allows for a loosening of the more rigid Si rights and wrongs; teasing and slapstick humor emerge. ESFJs are also capable of discerning patterns and philosophies, but such perceiving is subject to the weakness of the tertiary position, and the results often lack the variety and complexity of connections that more complex systems require.

Introverted Thinking

The inferior Ti function may rarely be expressed. In fact, ESFJs may take affront at the aloof, detached nature of dominant Ti types, or conversely, be drawn to them. Some ESFJs construct rationale which have the appearance of (Jungian) Thinking logic, but under scrutiny are in fact command performances of "Thinking in the service of Feeling," (i.e., Thinking-like conclusions which do not obey the tenets of impersonal logic; they rather construct scenarios from only those "hard, cold facts" which support the conclusion reached by the dominant Extraverted Feeling function. To wit:

You don’t sew with a fork, so I see no reason to eat
with knitting needles.
— Miss Piggy, on eating Chinese Food

Famous ESFJs:

U.S. Presidents:

William McKinley

William J. Clinton

Jack Benny
Desi Arnaz ("Ricky Ricardo")
Don Knotts ("Barney Fife")
John Connally (former Governor of Texas)
Terry Bradshaw, NFL quarterback
Sally Struthers (All in the Family)
Mary Tyler Moore
Dixie Carter (Designing Women)
Steve Spurrier, Heismann trophy winner, Univ. of Fla. football coach
Sally Field
Danny Glover, actor (Lethal Weapon movies, Predator 2 Margaret Butt
Nancy Kerrigan (U.S. olympic figureskater)
Elvis Stojko (Canadian olympic figureskater)

Fictional ESFJs:

Babbitt (Sinclair Lewis)
Hoss Cartwright (Bonanza)
Leonard "Bones" McCoy (Star Trek)
Monica (Friends)
Haleh (ER)
Donald Duck
Rabbit, Winnie the Pooh

P.S. Not sure how true the above is… except the bit about me being the "guardian of birthdays".  Hahahaha.

Read the last post about KM’s Jap and short tongue story?? This is part 2…

BM to KM: Today we met a Japanese from the bank. Surprisingly, he has a long tongue.
KM: Really? U asked him that??

(I nearly fainted when i heard this)

BM: Of ‘cos not… (pauses)… Small Fry (me) went to find out.

KM keeps quiet… at a loss for words.

BM: No lah. We could tell ‘cos he was talking normally.

KM: Oh ok…