Dance like no one's watching

A past client referred his friend to us to obtain political risk insurance.  The friend called my boss and made arrangements to come to our office for a chat.  As i was in the restroom when he arrived, my boss brought him to the meeting room first. 

When i got to the meeting room about 5 min later, the potential client suddenly said, “Got conflict of interest.  I know her.”

I looked at the guy and found him extremely familiar… but just couldn’t place where i knew him from.  “Er… yeah… you look familiar.”

He then said, “U mean u don’t recognise me?”. 

My mind raced through all the different groups of people i know – church, salsa, cheonging friends…

The potential client looked at my boss and said, “She’s my cousin-in-law.”

“U’re A’s husband!” i exclaimed.

Ah… mystery solved… though still quite paiseh lah.   But what to do when i have like 30+ cousins on my dad’s side alone?  Heh.

Met a colleague that i got to know during the Vietnam trip at the lift lobby today.

Colleague: Wah!  U look very thin in office clothes leh.

Me: Huh?  I looked very fat in Vietnam meh?

Colleague: No lah.  But u were wearing shorts mah.  Got more bum lor.

Thanks lor.  I know i got no ass also no need like that what.  Sigh.

The Lima syndrome is the opposite of the Stockholm syndrome.  Rather than the captives becoming submissive, the Lima Syndrome is when captors exhibit signs of becoming more sympathetic to the plight and needs of their hostages.

HD will be back on Sat night.  ETA 11:55pm.  Guess Hilda will be going home soon.  Sigh.  I miss Hilda already.  Sigh.  Bye bye Hilda.

Ok.  This is a public announcement.  I need help getting season parking at Raffles Place.  After enjoying 1.5 weeks of free parking at Equity Plaza courtesy of HD, now i think i want to drive to work!  The convenience is unbelievable.  😛

The problem is, most of the buildings at Raffles Place only allow tenants to buy season parking.  So i got my office’s admin manager to help me check at Clifford Centre (did u know that it’s also owned by SingLand??) but they had no more lots left.  The only one available, and that was the last lot too, was at Golden Shoe at a real hefty price of $290/mth.  Way out of my budget.  Don’t think i’ll pay anything more than $250-260/mth.

I checked with Equity Plaza too – same story.  Need to be tenant.  Sigh.

So if anyone knows how i can get a reasonably priced (by my standards ya?) season parking near SingLand Tower, please let me know!  Greatly appreciated!!

Stockholm syndrome is a psychological response sometimes seen in an abducted hostage, in which the hostage can show signs of having feelings of loyalty to the hostage-taker, regardless of the danger (or at least risk) in which the hostage has been placed.  The syndrome is named after the Norrmalmstorg robbery of Kreditbanken at Norrmalmstorg, Stockholm, Sweden, in which the bank robbers held bank employees hostage from August 23 to August 28 in 1973.  In this case, the victims became emotionally attached to their victimisers, and even defended their captors after they were freed from their six-day ordeal.  The term Stockholm Syndrome was coined by the criminologist and psychiatrist Nils Bejerot, who assisted the police during the robbery, and referred to the syndrome in a news broadcast.

HD didn’t come online as he said he would… no reply to my sms either… hmm… guess Hilda will have to join the abandoned toys orphanage liao…

This song kept playing in my mind today – Que Sera Sera… especially the chorus:

Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future’s not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.

While at Eon Canteen, boss said my MSN chat windows are very distracting… apparently he gets distracted by them.  Strange.  Perhaps i’ve not been too discreet lately.  Sigh.  Will tone down from tomorrow onwards.

Azure introduced this song to me today – Since You’ve Been Gone by Kelly Clarkson.  Good words… albeit rather tragic.  Well, no matter how much i MM, there’s still that vestige of hope in me.

Time for bed… now where’s that ol’ Hilda girl…

I did sms HD in the end.  Asked him if he wanted to watch Spidey 3 with the gang, and told him that Mr. Abandoned and Big Ass Tim pissed me off by insisting that i check with him.

HD’s reply was a “no thank you!”.  I responded by asking if he wanted to watch Spidey 3 and i could watch it with him if he wanted.  He didn’t answer.  So i asked a 2nd time if he was going to watch Spidey 3 with me.  HD said, “no guarantees”, and that i should watch with the group, to which i said no problem if he didn’t want to watch it with me, and i would look for alternative company instead.

Iceman says that the way i phrased my first sms, HD would surely reply with a no.  So why bother?  I beg to differ.  I was not happy about the way BAT and Mr. Abandoned were harping on the issue, and i don’t see why i should swallow my unhappiness.  Although i knew there was a high chance that HD would not go with the group ‘cos i was pissed, the choice was ultimately his.  Everyone chooses his own path.  If you piss me off, don’t expect me to hide my displeasure and put on a false smile.

Iceman said he’s caught in a difficult situation now ‘cos he’s trying to balance both sides – “the gang”, and me.  I told him that if people cross the line, then u just got to tell them in the face.  No point keeping all the grievances to yourself.  Iceman also said, “at least you have some comfort in HD”.  Do i?  I don’t know.  Everything’s a huge grey area… which i’m pretty ok with, till other people try to stir the pot and disturb the balance. 

Now is not the right time to ink things in black and i don’t appreciate people meddling with me hanging out with HD.  I struggle enough with myself over fear that the grey will fade into the nothingness of white and i don’t need any extra shit from anyone who does not have the decency not to talk behind my back.

I do not meddle in other people’s business, and people should stay out of mine too.  And on that note, please leave my friend alone as well.  Thank you.

Did anyone watch Miss Universe Singapore on tv just now?  Azure was right when she told me there’s a comedy on tv tonight…

The gals had no poise, they couldn’t catwalk, and what’s with the ugly gums?  Most of them had the Julia Roberts smile… but without the twinkle in the eye.  Sigh.

Did u see the question and answer segment?  Gosh!  Someone wanted to get all the kids in Singapore to adopt a tree so that we can combat global warming?  ‘Cos trees absorb carbon dioxide?  Hello!!  Singapore has such a small population… not to mention our declining birth rate… what impact would we have?  Aiyoh!  Also… did she NOT know that just as trees take in CO2 during photosynthesis, they also give out CO2 during the night?  Sheesh…

Then there was the other chick who i bet is soooo going to get slammed for her take on what event does Singapore have the best bet to win an Olympics gold.  She said it depends on whether we’re counting on our foreign imports or local sportsmen to score that gold.  That was sooo politically incorrect.  Couldn’t she just say something short and sweet?  Like… weightlifting… ‘cos we already have a silver, so why not a gold?  I mean… duh!  Don’t dig your own grave girl!

Or the gal who described Asian women as “exotic”.  Hello!?  Exotic?  You think sex toy is it?  Wah piang!

Still, nothing tops the gal who said she hoped her mom was watching the show live in Korea… on SCV… WHAT A BIG BOOBOO ‘cos this is a Mediacorp production!!  Not SCV!  Argh!!!!!  Pengz!!!!

Sigh… i could go on and on lah… but seriously… give up.  I stick to my theory… we should just find some really tall and chio model / actress, spend a couple years training her, then send her to Miss Universe.  How do u think Russia and Venezuela win their beauty titles?  They train all these gals from young lor!  When will Singapore ever learn?  Just like in sports… talent needs to be groomed from young.  (I mean, teach them to speak proper English at the very least!)  A last minute scramble before the competition will not work!

Even Andrea De Cruz, despite being much older than the contestants, looks and carries herself so much better lor!  Sigh. 

Is the theme of this year’s Miss Universe Singapore “Ugly is the New Beautiful” or something?

Was really moping about the office today.  As Genma rightly pointed out, i managed to cover 1001 analyses of the situation.  Amazing.  Sigh.  I’m trying very hard not to think too much now… just focus on the tasks at hand, clear my backlog, and try to survive my very first biz trip (ever) to Manila in May.

Tried on my ao dai.  Am mighty pleased with it.  Heehee.  Now i’m inspired to make a cheongsum.  Muahaha.  Partner – this is what i’m wearing when i’m the emcee for your wedding hor!!

Having studied Literature before, i am fond of dissecting sentences and exploring what they really mean. I like the statement “without hope or agenda” from the movie Love Actually because it’s such a simple sentence but yet it speaks volumes.

To have no hope means to have no future because as long as there’s a tomorrow, that means there must exist some hope for a positive outcome, no matter how obscure the chance may be. To be without agenda would mean to approach an issue with all earnestness and honesty, and with no selfish or hidden expectations.

This is something that is not easily accomplished. Human beings thrive on hope and being naturally selfish, we always expect returns whenever we invest our time and effort in something. To live each day at a time, without hope of being able to enjoy the same thing tomorrow, and to savour each moment just for what it is, without wishing for more, is tough. It is really tough. Sometimes, i even wonder if it is something that can be done… or do we just delude ourselves into thinking that we are being “without hope or agenda”, just so that we can avoid dealing with things we don’t want to deal with for another day.

12 days. If i had been able to be truly without hope or agenda, the next 12 days would not weigh heavily upon my heart. I would not have a sense of fear of losing something, which oddly was never exactly in my grasp either.

The irony is? The 12 days could easily be sorted out today… but ‘cos i know i would have to deal with the outcome anyway, i’m just buying another 12 days of hope. Sigh. What can i say? I’m human. I need hope, and i have an agenda.