Dance like no one's watching

I’ve had to deal with a couple of blooming idiots lately and they really make my blood boil. I hate it when people make me repeat myself. Once, twice i still can tahan… but if it stretches to a whole blinking 15mins at 8plus in the morning when i’m trying to brush my teeth & get changed so i can go for a 9am appointment, it really really pisses me off.

Why can’t people just accept “no” for an answer?? Seriously, sometimes i want to shoot back, “which part of ‘no’ don’t you understand?” My conclusion is, as a wise sage once told me, “you can’t out-talk stupidity”.

Then there’re those raving cretins who make you feel guilty when u’re not sure if there’s anything to feel guilty about… and just when you feel that they’re innocent, they go screw something up. A long time ago, i talked about The Orc. Now The Orc has been keeping a relatively low profile the past few months since Sauron skipped town.

About a week ago, The Orc was given a peremptory decree to shape up, or ship out. Ever since then, The Orc has been friendly and i was just about to compliment him on pulling up his socks. Sadly, before the compliment could depart from my lips, The Orc had to shoot his mouth off and claim credit where it wasn’t due. Sheesh. I was dumbfounded.

I told a friend about the stunt that The Orc tried to pull off… but i felt a little bad about it. Maybe he didn’t mean it? Or perhaps he was misunderstood? Well, The Orc was confronted but he denied everything. (Cue X-Files music here). Sigh… i really don’t know. It’s like how do you draw the line between clarifying the truth & snitching on someone?

还是会寂寞
早已忘了想你的滋味是什么
因为每分每秒都被你占据在心中
你的一举一动牵扯在我生活的隙缝
谁能告诉我离开你的我会有多自由

也曾想过躲进别人温暖的怀中
可是这么一来就一点意义也没有
我的高尚情操一直不断提醒着我
离开你的我不论过多久还是会寂寞

别对我小心翼翼
别让我看轻你
跟着我勇敢的走下去
别劝我回心转意
这不是廉价的爱情
看着我对我说真爱我

P.S. Had to sacrifice the quality of the music a little in order to keep the file size small!
P.P.S. Don’t you think the intro of this song sounds like the intro for Dan Fogelberg’s “Longer”??

Took quite a lot of photos of Pinky last week but was too lazy to upload them till today…

Clothes maketh a man…

And shoes maketh a bunny?

Pinky doing some liondance moves…

Yeap, u can hire her for the next rabbit CNY

Pinky sleeping on my lap (so rare!)

Horlicks got jealous & gave her a nudge, waking her up.

Been sick for over a week now… started with a slight cough last last Thur… then after going to salsa last last Fri, my throat got worse & developed into a sore throat last last weekend. But i was doing backup singing for church so there was no rest for my voice… and after a site briefing i did last Mon… my throat gave out. Quite suddenly too! Was talking fine most of Mon… got home feeling really tired that nite… took a nap & when i woke up, my voice ran away!!The sore throat then developed into a cough & i’ve been hacking away the whole week. Clown wanted me to see a doc but i absolutely hate drinking cough syrup so i refused. Did another round of backup singing the weekend that just passed… and it was quite a miracle i managed to sing. (Then again, maybe not that miraculous lah… ‘cos i sing using my diaphragm but i don’t know how to talk using my diaphragm? so always end up straining my throat when i give briefings, shout, etc.)

I finally did go to the doctor last nite and i came out of the consultation room beaming ‘cos the doc gave me an MC. 😛 Ok… i guess more rest would do me good (supposed to be some viral infection then turned bacterial?!?) but i’m not exactly like bedridden lah. Was prescribed a course of antibiotics (which reminded me of poor Azure’s allergy reaction) and cough syrup (bleah!). Think i might spend most of today sleeping… (but i still had to make a trip down to the showflat to meet an agent to pass her some cheques & documents.. sigh!). Can’t sleep so well at night ‘cos i tend to cough more when i’m lying down. Last night, i got around that problem by sleeping in a more sitting up sort of position, then slowly slid down when i was half-asleep.

Ooh… Pinky turns 8 weeks old today!!! Saw a bit of soft stools in her cage. not sure if it’s ‘cos she’s been sneakily eating grass when we let her out. Told my dad to make sure she doesn’t take any veggies nor grass. Wet food is NOT good for baby rabbits. Not till they’re 3-4mths old. Pinky’s left ear also finally flopped down today… ah… that’s good… she’s not a mis-marked rabbit.

Ok… i’m kinda sleepy again… maybe it’s the cough syrup. 4x a day. bleah!

Some time ago, i had this conversation with a friend about relationships and finding the right guy. I can’t really recall how our conversation led to this but i think my friend wanted to introduce me to a client of hers and i said something about how it’s difficult to find someone to meet my criteria (i was single then).

What i remember deeply about this conversation was what my colleague shared – she said that before she met her current bf, she used to have certain criteria regarding the type of guys she wanted to date. Her bf was a far cry from her previous beaus on a variety of factors and she struggled a little before accepting him as her bf. But she knew she made the right decision eventually ‘cos this was the best guy she had ever met.

At that point in time, i felt that it was almost impossible for me to do the same. I’m a stubborn person (as established in my previous posts!) and i simply could not see how i could accept someone vastly different from my dream guy.

Tonight, that friend of mine got married. Seeing her husband and her together, it was obvious that they are right for each other and the conversation we had came to mind. I think i get what she was saying now… and more.

A dream guy is only as ideal as how he satisfies certain targets we set for ourselves. It is a selfish concept. But the right guy is someone who is good not only for you, but with you.

Congratulations my friend, for finding your Mr. Right!

Pinky turned 7 weeks old on Mon – 6 Mar 2006. A good friend had the Monday blues and asked why i haven’t been posting updates of Pinky recently… well, i did take some pictures a few days ago but didn’t have the time / energy to post them. Had a not too good throat since last Thur, which was aggravated by my visit to Union Square on Fri night… and after working & singing on Sat & Sun, and the site briefing i had to give on Mon, my voice gave way. My throat got inflammed and resulted in a slight fever. Took this morning off to rest and feel better now.

I also managed to transfer some pictures of Pinky from Clown’s hp to mine… some are really old photos! Hehe… but i’ll post them all here anyway. Everyone loves Pinky right? 😀

Pinky, “Stop bugging me mother!”

Pinky, “No no! No lick-baths for me!”

Pinky, “U cannot reach me. Nai-nee-nai-nee-boo-boo!”

Old photos of Pinky taken from Clown’s hp:

Pinky sleeping on her back – she doesn’t like to do that anymore.

When Pinky could still fit my palm!

U gotta look real carefully to see this… Pinky was a teeny weeny baby and i was putting her to Horlicks’ nipple during feeding time.

I made it to salsa after all. Hehe. Arrived at Union Square at 12am and the first greeting i got was,

“Wah! What wind blows u here?”

As long as it isn’t broken wind, does it matter? Hehe… okok. I love u peeps too. I’m glad u remember my name & welcomed me. It was nice to see a lot of familiar faces again… the last 2 times i went for salsa, i didn’t recognize 99% of the people that were there. Far cry from the days when i could turn up w/o arranging to meet anyone & be confident that “the usual gang” would be there.

But it was back to the good ol’ days just now. The same usual “door hoggers” were around and it was good to see them. Hehe… a friend also complained that everytime i sms to ask if anyone was going to be around, or if there was anything special going on, i don’t turn up. Then today, uninvited, i spring myself upon everyone. Oh come on… i don’t hog that much space!

So i danced a little, sat around a bit more, and of ‘cos had lots of thoughts going through my head. I was reminded that a person’s dancing provides a peek into that person’s true self. I like sitting around watching people dance ‘cos u see those with the CFM faces (99% successfully unsexy), and those with the “i’m so kewl” attitude. That always gives me so much pleasure as i self-righteously snigger behind their backs. (Ok, depending on their direction of dance, it could be behind, in front, at the side… of them.)

What does my dancing say about me? Hehe… a good friend who saw me progress from a clumsy beginner to the dancer i am now, Zee, commented that my dancing is the same as 8 months ago, when we last danced. Yippee… u mean i didn’t deprove over the past 8 mths? Yay! But oh no… Zee was quick to add, “Your bad habits also the same”.

Thanks, friend. I asked Zee what bad habits he was referring to and he pointed one out… something about the way i position my wrist in a particular instance… er, actually i don’t know what he means. Haha. But he said i got it right the 2nd time round… ok… whatever u say boss!

I guess that’s the thing about bad habits – whether in real life or on the dance floor. As resilient as cockroaches, they haunt u forever. I remember a certain ex-bf telling me about how he wanted to improve his dance, blah blah blah (he had an issue about me being the better dancer). Sadly, the whole 1.5yrs we were together, plus the 1 over year we weren’t together, his dancing still sucked the last time i saw it. Same comment – all the same bad habits were still there.

Frankly, i don’t really dare call myself a salsera ‘cos i don’t have the necessary sexiness in my dancing. I am unable to “groove with the beat”, nor bend my body in sexy positions. What i can do, and do best, is dancing in clean lines and executing neat & tight spins – probably ingrained in me since my ballet days. I’ve long given up trying to exude any salsa-ristic charm and i’ve decided that i should just focus on my er, core competencies.

After all that’s been said, what’s the real reason i haven’t been to salsa? I alternated my answers between, “busy with work lah” and “my bf doesn’t dance mah” just now. Don’t get me wrong… my bf doesn’t stop me from going to salsa. (He where got so bad one?) The truth is a combination of both reasons – ‘cos my bf and i are often busy with work, i usually really really want to meet and spend more time with him on Fridays (since showflat only starts at 11am on Saturdays) and since he doesn’t salsa, so i don’t go salsa either. See? 1+1=2. So simple.

Whatever the case, it was fantastic salsa-ing again. So till i go again, i need to nurse my poor left little toe… which got trampled by don’t know which @*%&#! mammoth just now. *Ouch*. Hope the nail doesn’t drop off…

🙁

I get very stressed whenever i respond to the “pring!” sound of my sms alert, open my handphone to see that it was my Big Big Boss who sent me an sms.

The first sms was 2 weekends ago when he found out that i made rings for sale and wanted to see my samples. I was at a viewing when he sent the sms so i didn’t respond till 4 hrs later. (I thought it was 1 of those mass sms that i get spammed with periodically. Nearly deleted the sms w/o reading it.) *Panic*. Does this make me easier to sack since i have another (feeble) source of income?

“Pring”!

My handphone sounded again just now. Oops… BBB looking for me again. He wants to know if i can make a purple ring by Mon. PURPLE RING?! Er, sure i can.. but amethyst purple? Lilac-purple?

“Pring”!

My phone just rang again. I jumped. (He makes my heart palpitate more than my bf does). The screen read,

“… purple, blue theme”.

Huh?

Ok… my BBB juz called me. He needs maybe one or two rings, purple / blue ones, and he needs them by Mon. Wait a min… can i claim OT for this?

Made arrangements to meet an old friend to go salsa together tonight. Unfortunately, she has a company function to attend tonight so she probably won’t be able to make it. Sigh… i’m in two minds about it now. Should i go? I want to go ‘cos i haven’t been to salsa for i think 4 months?? But the scene heats up at 10+ at night… and it’s barely 8pm now… the longer i wait, the more nua i’m getting.

Trying to find various people to go – colleagues, other salsa friends, etc (Clown hates dancing so he definitely won’t be going… plus he’s still working… my poor darling!)… so i can psycho myself to go down to Union Square but boy is inertia catching up with me.

Ok… my mom will be back in about 30mins… then we’ll be going for dinner… so i’ll probably be home about 9:30 – 9:45pm. Perhaps if i don’t eat too much, i’ll be able to lug myself out of the house, and drive to Union.

Sigh… *yawn*…. inertia, inertia…. nono! I must go salsa, i must go salsa!

I met an old friend from NTU for lunch today. Mr. Softball was my “subcommer” (NTU lingo for a member of my subcommittee) in NTU. Being one of the more responsible subcommers, poor Mr. Softball got tasked to do more stuff than the rest by me. Hehe… but i was fair… and i do remember giving him as many bonus points as i could.

Over time, we became rather good friends… not the kind that i meet up often with, but the kind that i trust and know that should i run into any problems, i could surely approach him for help. Mr. Softball, named thus not only ‘cos he was a fantastic softball player, but ‘cos he is also a big softie at heart, is a really nice guy that you can trust. He was there for me & gave me a lot of encouragement when i broke up with my bf during NTU days.

After graduating from NTU, we didn’t really keep in touch much. We did meet up once during my birthday and Mookie was his gift to me. But over the years, we both got busy with work and hardly kept in touch. I did meet him at a mutual friend’s church wedding but that was about it.

A couple of months ago, i ran into Mr. Softball during lunch. I was surprised to see him at Clifford Pier but i was on the phone so i didn’t get to talk to him. A couple of days ago, my hp beeped a birthday reminder… ah… it was Mr. Softball’s birthday. I asked him out for lunch and thank goodness i did ‘cos he’s going to be posted to Jurong East for a few months after this week.

Now comes the punch… i found out during lunch today that Mr. Softball is working as an auditor for KPMG. HUH? Auditor?? Mr. Softball studied Civil & Structural Engineering in NTU! At first, i dead refused to believe him when he said that he did a self-study degree with Curtin University (i think) and got a job as an auditor. He said it with such a smile on his face that made me think he was pulling my leg.

I demanded to see his namecard before i would believe him and again, he had that silly smile on his face & said he used the last one in his wallet yesterday. Sounds too coincidental right? I was convinced an engineer could never be an auditor. Not even when he scanned his namecard after we went back to our respective offices, and emailed it to me, did i believe him. I called another friend who doesn’t really know Mr. Softball, but is working in KPMG, to verify the information and by golly! My friend confirmed that Mr. Softball is now an auditor!

Eeeks! Can someone really make such a drastic change in career? Mr. Softball shared with me his reasons for the switch and i can understand it…. sigh… i admire him for striving to achieve his goals. Reminded me of how i chickened out of doing a law degree 2 years ago. Is it ever too late to switch careers? Not accordingly to some reports in the newspaper lately. But i guess i’m pretty much stuck where i am now.

I did ask myself 2 questions recently:
1) Should i change jobs?
2) Should i stay in the same industry?

It’s a matter of time before i changed jobs i guess. No one stays in the same job for a couple of decades anymore (like my mom… same job for 35+ years). But should i stay in the same industry? That would definitely be crucial to when and whether or not i should look for a new job.

I thought about what my options were… shucks… turns out they’re pretty limited. I can’t go into marketing ‘cos no one will employ someone with no prior experience… and if i go back to insurance underwriting, i’ll probably be taking a bigger than i can afford paycut. No experience in HR, finance, compliance, research either! Damn! Looks like i better stay in the property industry. But even the property industry has its different arms – investment, retail, commercial, industry, residential. Should i then stay in residential?

Sigh… i really don’t know. I guess i’ll hang around for a bit more to see what happens… but if things don’t improve after this year… then maybe it’s time for a switch.