Dance like no one's watching

One of the last songs (or was it the last? I don’t remember… Zounds do u recall?) that F.I.R. presented on Sunday was, Love*3. A very chirpy song, totally different feel from the two above. I really like the playfulness of the song. Lifts my spirits everytime i hear it! (Yeah, it’s made it to my handphone ringtone! :P)

love*3

歌手:f.i.r 专辑:无限

填词:f.i.r.编曲:奥斯卡

跟我说love love love
大声说love love love
有一天这世界会为我改变
跟我说love love love
love love love
紧握住我的双手勇敢的say it
i love you

闭上了眼睛勇敢的前进没有时间害羞
也许你不懂就是没把握但请别怕心动
因为爱有一种你猜不透的温柔
相信我靠紧我别问为什么

幸福一靠近阴天就放晴跟我一起遨游
一个不小心雀跃的心情已经洋溢心头
因为爱就是你可以任性的理由
相信我靠紧我那就这么做

这世界寂寞太多别吝啬一句问候
是谁说制造浪漫是种罪过
看着我不用多说什么有你最懂我

love love love love love love
love love love love just be with you
love love love love yes i love you
紧握住我的双手勇敢的say it
i love you

And no, i’m not hinting that i’m going to go up to anyone and declare my love… haha. Just wanted to share some nice songs. But this is an indication as to what songs i’ll be singing at my next KTV outing… 😉

(Disclaimer: once i’ve memorised the lyrics.)

The last F.I.R. song is heh… a song i hope i can find someone to sing to someday. (I like the music / instruments used a lot!)

you make me want to fall in love

歌手:f.i.r. 专辑:f.i.r.(飞儿乐团)

you make me want to fall in love
作词:f.i.r.
作曲:f.i.r.
编曲:terence teo

我愿用我有限
的永远

交换曾经快乐
的泪水

穿越不安地带
穿越所有危险
来到你身边

*我有时相信美丽
的预言
却又不想如此
心甘情愿
直到你的出现
才了解这一切
因为你而改变

#you make me want to fall in love
就在这一刻
oh~
也不管明天会如何
只要今生有你左右
陪着我不再寂寞
you make me want to fall in love
就在这一刻
oh~
瞬间也可以是永恒
只要每个寂寞时候
爱的回忆留在我心中

repeat *,#

就算岁月带你走
就算距离淹没我
还是一直守候着
我会永远为了你存在

repeat #

只要每个寂寞时候
爱的回忆留在我心中

I encourage all to get their album. 🙂

I’ve been rather disgruntled with my Nokia 6260 smartphone. Not only is it not very smart, it’s really slow and suicidal too (keeps hanging)! Was considering selling it off, as well as my trusty 6230, and getting a 6230i in their place. Zounds pointed out that that would be a minimal upgrade… but seriously, the 6230 has all the features that i want, except for a lousy screen resolution. Hence with the 6230i, i would have all the features i want, plus an even better camera than its predecessor, and with better screen resolution too! The only drawback is that with the 6230i, i won’t be able to log onto mobile ICQ & MSN anymore. And i’ll have to give up my wish for a flip design phone.

Zounds then recommended me the Sony Ericsson’s K750i ‘cos it purportedly has a good camera… but i found the design too manly. What caught my eye was the SE Z520i. The design is exactly the flip type that i’ve been looking for! Unfortunately, the Z520i doesn’t have expandable memory which means its MP3 function is worthless really. (http://www.sonyericsson.com/spg.jsp?cc=sg&lc=en&ver=4000&template=pp1&zone=pp&lm=pp)

After comparing the 6230i, Z520i, K750i and so on, i can only draw 1 conclusion – mobile phones are like men… substance & looks – u just can’t have both.

🙁

No worries… am not in a sad mood. Just felt that it was time to share about my 3rd regret, which is sort of like a combination of the first two…

When i was in TJC, i used to IRC quite often. I used to chat quite a bit with this senior of mine, Lancer. Our paths didn’t cross much in school so we barely talked much in person. But almost every nite, we would chat on IRC. Perhaps it’s precisely ‘cos we didn’t see much of each other in school that made it easy for us to share our thoughts on issues that arose, and our feelings on problems we encountered.

After Lancer graduated from TJC and went into the army, his visits to IRC became more irregular. A year passed quickly and i entered NTU. By then, i had almost stopped IRC-ing completely and thus my friendship with Lancer faded into virtual oblivion. I always told myself that one day… one day, i would get Lancer’s email add from mutual friends so i could add him on ICQ. Actually, i could vaguely remember his email add but somehow this huge procastination stopped me from doing something as simple as a search for Lancer on ICQ.

About 3 years later (i think), i was shopping with azure 1 day when we saw Lancer at Citylink mall. We were both walking quite fast in the opposite direction but when i walked past him, i stopped in my tracks, turned around and exclaimed to azure, “That’s Lancer!”. It was so silly… i actually momentarily forgot his real name and remembered only his IRC nick.

At that moment in time, i was really undecided between running after him to say hi, or to just continue towards Suntec. As his figure disappeared quickly into the crowds, i once again told myself, “Oh well, doesn’t matter. I’ll just look for him on ICQ.”

Sadly, a few months after that, i received a call from azure one night & learnt that Lancer had passed away. That was in Nov 2001. Lancer died of a heart attack while studying for his exams. Azure & i attended Lancer’s wake… we seemed a little out of place there ‘cos we were the only ones not from his clique of friends. But i thought the least i could do was to pay my last respects.

(GASP! I just recalled something! Last week, i saw this guy and thought he looked real familiar… somehow i knew he was from TJ… and now that i’m writing about Lancer, i remember that that guy was a the same table as azure & me at the wake and he gave us a ride home after that!)

Since then, whenver i bump into someone i know, i always ask myself this question – will i regret it if i don’t go up to say hi to that person? Sometimes even if i know just saying hi will not resurrect the friendship, i think it’s still worth touching base… ‘cos it’s really just about letting the other person know that you care even if both of you live in completely different worlds.

There is still 1 old friend that i’ve not contacted for some time now. He’s my good old brother, Scorpio. Scorpio’s another TJ senior that i grew close to over IRC. I remember he treated azure & i to dessert (twice) & Kenny Rogers when he came back to visit us while we were studying for our ‘A’ levels. Oh… he bought me chocolates too to encourage me to study.. haha. (Azure – do u remember this? When Scorpio came to visit us in JC, i was having some remedial maths lesson in the old old LT – LT3 or 4 i think… and u met up with him first, then paged for me and i rushed down once my lesson ended?)

Ok… all talk and no action is no good! I shall contact Scorpio again within the next week. Sure hope he hasn’t changed his mobile number! I think we last met like 2 years back? 🙁

That said, i actually had a very fulfilling past week. Work wise it was quite jam packed with deadlines & viewings… but i’m very glad that in spite of the “hectic-ness” of it all, i managed to meet up with 2 good friends, Adam & Jukebox. I also finally dropped by Airbus’ place to collect the birthday presents he bought for me from the US. (THANK YOU!!) Met some colleagues at salsa last night, and had a really good time with Iceman tonight, downing 2 pints of Hoegarden at Blooie’s & watching Shrek 2.

It was rather stressful juggling my time… but in retrospect, the satisfaction is more than worth the stress. 🙂

I just did something really really evil… i sort of tricked Adam into revealing the URL of Superman’s blog to me….

What happened was that Adam told me that Superman found my blog interesting and had a link from his blog to mine. As usual, the kaypoh part of me kicked in and i wanted to read what Superman wrote in his blog. I asked Superman this afternoon if i could have the URL but he said declined saying that some stuff were too personal. I didn’t persist and let the matter pass. Nevertheless, i must add that i was really really extremely totally deeply flattered that someone actually thought my blog was worth reading.

Then just now… as in JUST now, Adam sms’d me to ask if i’ve got the URL of Superman’s blog. I just replied, “nope”. Adam promptly logged onto the Internet and sent the URL to me. I deliberated for a while… should i go see his blog? In the end, curiousity got the better of me and i did.

Saw a short entry where Superman gave his comments about my blog. Very very pleased because it was a huge encouragement to me…*floats away to cloud 9*…. ‘cos this morning, Iceman commented that he finds it amazing how people can share about their personal problems so openly. His statement made me wonder if i should perhaps tone down on what i write… it made me question if it was wrong to blog about personal issues?

Anyway, i think i’ll keep up with this ‘cos it’s a good avenue to air my grievances & pet peeves. Oh yeah, back to Superman’s blog. Why i just gave him the nick Superman… ‘cos i’m SO impressed by the number of things he gets done! This guy is like a super athelete, plays the piano, is starting a KTV routine, dances salsa, has a good reading list, and goes on road trips?! Mind blowing! I’m totally bowled over by his new year resolutions and his progress on them. Gee… i feel ashamed at how i just keep whining about my poor grasp of traditional Chinese when i see the progress he’s made!

So i’m like totally impressed now. I found Superman! If Superman gives permission, i’ll like to do a link from my blog to his too!

😛

Long time ago, when i was working in an insurance company, this underwriter used to comment that some agents are like piles – they never go away. I thought this analogy was really apt ‘cos agents can be real bothersome… and as underwriters, it was just so appropriate to use a medical condition to describe them.

I think i suffer from emotional piles. I always upset myself over someone, then i treat it with a bit of logical contemplation and it goes away, only to return not too long after. I’ve been struggling with my emotional piles again the past few months. The condition got better then worse, then better again… it has been quite a rollercoaster ride.

The deal is i like this guy. But this chap obviously doesn’t like me. Was telling a friend, Enix, about it and he thinks that i should just do a showhand before i “throw in the towel”. I was going to do that (that was the wild thing i told azure i might do on my birthday) but decided that i didn’t need my piles exploding in my face (ass… whatever…) so i kept my feelings in check.

I really should have talked to God more about this but i didn’t. Thankfully, i think our Father knows what troubles us and i had a small epiphany tonight. I can’t quite put it in words yet but i think i know what God wants me to do. It boils down to 1 word – trust. To trust that everything works for the good of those who love Him. Or as what someone told me a long long time ago – when you get things right with God, everything else will fall in place. Being a naturally gan cheong person, i often cannot grasp this concept. But it’s ok. God is patient. He has given me extra tuition in this aspect. (God must be Singaporean. :P)

Hence, putting aside the painful emotional piles i’ve been having (the pain doesn’t go away immediately but at least i know nipping it now is the way to go), there’s a more pressing matter on hand!

How the heck am i supposed to react the next time i meet Cuppaccino?! ARGHHHHH!!!! I can’t believe i did what i did! This is soooo bad. Can a person die from embarrassment? My goodness, i may be the first. I totally can’t get over what has transpired man! Words fail me completely. *Bangs head on keyboard*. asdbl;f a;sdfj;’a we’apg’ ‘psap02q3r5

Shared my cringe worthy story with Adam just now and i think he was rather amused. But Adam managed to put a good band-aid on my blistering ego. (It’s like the ultimate malu lor!) He said, “let Cuppa handle it”. Such a simple statement but so profoundly true. Heh… why get myself flustered up right?

With my 2 biggest issues resolved, i think i can sleep soundly tonight. Uh oh… it’s 5:20am now… not going to get much more sleep. I think i’ll need to overdose on coffee again tomorrow…

Just not feeling very good about this weekend. Am glad it’s over. Heard some unhappy news and had some unpleasant dreams.

姜还是老的辣
Over the past month, I spent quite a few of my weekends chatting with this “elder” at the showflat. He’s in semi-retirement having made good in business, and spends quite a bit of his time in church work now. Ginger is Catholic and through his sharings, i realised that the basic fundamentals of Protestants and Catholics aren’t that different. He is also an avid driver of the Alpha Programme in his church.

As Ginger is a lot older than me, i’ve grown to respect him a lot through our chats. But last week, i found out that he actually told some of the agents who are working for my company, that they are welcomed to join his company anytime. Sure, contractually agents are independent contractors and they can choose to hop to any company they want. But it doesn’t feel right that my agents are being poached in the showflat. He may have said that it is their choice, but to allow this when both our companies are stationed at the same project doesn’t seem very sound ethical…. at least not to me.

Ginger doesn’t know that i’m aware of what’s going on. None of the agents know actually… they would not have guessed that their agent in-charge is my good friend and hence she told me about this. I was going to talk to Ginger about this, well, hint to him that this wasn’t an appropriate thing to do but he didn’t come to the showflat this week. I’m disappointed in how this has turned out. Perhaps this is how people are in business.

If-Then-Else
If you have ever learnt any programming language, you will surely come across this phrase, “if then else”. I like it when i know the “if then else” that i am going to take in any particular situation ‘cos it helps me move forward. Once you know the options available to you, and you decide in advance what are the various actions you will take when a particular scenario happens, you can easily deal with it ‘cos you have pre-decided what course of action to take.

Recently, Patience met an old friend of hers, Mr. Carrot. Patience and Mr. Carrot go way back… they used to study togther when they were younger. Zounds will find the name Mr. Carrot familiar ‘cos Patience has always been bugging him to get Mr. Carrot for her. Anyway Patience has always had latent feelings for Mr. Carrot and having met him again recently, she asked him out. Unfortunately, Mr. Carrot declined her offer. Perhaps he knows how she feels and doesn’t wish to encourage her feelings.

So i came home yesterday to find Patience sulking on my bed. I explained to her that i won’t be able to find her the right rabbit if she keeps harping on Mr. Carrot. I mean, if he’s already the “perfect rabbit” in her mind, how would “anybunny” else measure up?

Patience is in quite a quandary now. I told her that God, in His perfect timing, will find her the right rabbit. I’m not saying it couldn’t be Mr. Carrot.. just that perhaps they’re both not ready for each other yet. Patience asked me for some “if then else” action plan that she can stick to. I told her that this time, i don’t know if it’s a good thing to map out what steps she might want to take. Perhaps when it comes to affairs of the heart, it’s better to wait for God to act, instead of grabbing strongly onto our own “if then else”.

Weather Report
I’m the sort who gets really affected by my dreams. If i have a happy dream, i can wake up feeling sky high the whole day. But when i have an unpleasant dream, i wake up with an equally heavy heart that burdens me throughout the day. This weekend, i’ve not had very good dreams. Usually when i’m feeling down, i like to go to sleep ‘cos i usually feel better when i wake up (i think one tends to look at things more negatively when the mind/body is tired) but i’ve been waking up feeling rather sad. Once again, it’s time to deal with the reality of dark skies.

Some bigshot in my company was in town today and so there was a happy hour thingy at OneFullerton, with finger food and drinks paid for by the company. Wasn’t that keen on going ‘cos i don’t know most of the people in the company that well and was afraid i would be forced to make “how’s the weather” type of conversations…then again, i thought it may be good to go so i could get to know more people. I mean… it’s quite a “chicken or the egg” kind of thing right?

In the end, my HOD set a “directive” that all of us had to be there (or at least those who didn’t have any prior appointment) and so i went. It was ok… an informal setting and i mingled with my dept people, and the few girls that i know from work.

Being a no lifer with no program on a Friday night, I stayed till the end of the happy hour. Was undecided whether to stay on for even more drinks or to go home but chose the latter instead ‘cos i didn’t know the group that was staying on very well.

Walked to Cityhall mrt with my “neighbour” at work. Sigh… after reaching home, i felt damn super sian man… it’s like… what the heck am i doing home at 9:30pm on a Friday night!! Talk about no life lor! But what to do? Really no exciting programme to attend… so i came on the Internet. Spoke a little to some friends online but still felt darn bored…

Then a crazy thought crossed my mind! Maybe i should send an sms to Cuppaccino! Just for the kick of it. Asked my good son Gouki for his opinion and he was all for it. I suspect he was bored at home on a Fri night and was keen to see some action… at his lao ma’s expense.

I sent the sms. Just a simple text to say hi and about not having the chance to talk to him. Gouki asked what was my objective? Frankly, nothing. I’m not keen on him in the slightest way… but just wanted to do something wild (it was this or confronting who’s really bothering me) and so i did.

The outcome? I’m being silently rejected. 😛 (Yo azure – guess this makes up for the “crazy” thing i was supposed to do on my birthday.)

————————————————————–

Ok… i wasn’t silently rejected. Got a reply from Cuppaccino this morning. He rushed off for another meeting last nite and is on his way to Sydney now. Haha… busy guy. I want a job that allows me to travel too! 😛

Saturday 4/6/2005, 11:06am

Am waiting for Zounds to send me a video of stuff that i can blackmail him with now. Think it’s gonna take about 30min so i thought i’ll share something more lighthearted.

A couple of weeks ago, i got to know this rather cute guy. Let’s call him Cuppaccino. Feeling rather adventurous ‘cos i was on a birthday high, i decided to initiate a conversation with him. So i went up to him one day, and struck up a conversation. After exchanging a few pleasantries, i confessed that i had forgotten his name and i re-introduced myself. He said he remembered my name… and told me his name was _ _ _ _ _ _ _ . He then picked up this telephone directory that was lying around, and showed me where i could find his name. He kept pointing at the telephone directory and i thought to myself then, “ok… are u trying to hint to me to call u?”. I was standing some distance away then so i couldn’t see what was written on the paper. Anyway, i very quickly ran out of conversation and left.

After i got back, i checked the copy of the telephone directory i had with me and saw that there wasn’t any telephone number next to his name in the directory. That got me a little puzzled as to what he was pointing to.

I soon forgot about that little mystery till last week, when i was in the same place that i saw the cute guy. I saw the directory on the table and so i picked it up to take a closer look at it… ah… then the puzzle pieces fell in place. The directory he was pointing to was a different version from the one that i had, and it had his mobile number next to his name. Heh… so was he hinting to me to call him after all?

Oh well, too bad i suppose… ‘cos it’s just not me to make the first call to a guy. Anyhow, i saw Cuppaccino again recently and got reminded of the incident. I actually found it quite amusing… heh heh… my good friend ssrv036 thinks that i should give him a call… though she would never do it for the life of her. Hahah… oh well, maybe i should take note of the number… in case i ever get bored sometimes…. 😉